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-   -   Does Facebook hurt our social communication skills (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=547797)

  • Jan 25, 2011, 01:12 PM
    Animus
    Does Facebook hurt our social communication skills
    Since the beginning of time our friends have left us on great journeys, some never to return. We coped with this by rejoicing with song and dance when we would encounter old friends once more.

    Since then we have developed instant communication world wide. We no longer see our friends as ships moored in the same harbor for a time before fleeting over the horizon, we see them as life apps, obligated to maintain connection with us no matter where they are. In many ways this causes friends to become extensions of ourselves further confusing our sense of self. People no longer share themselves in face to face conversations, its only when they can portray who they want to be on twitter and Facebook, that they communicate.

    Now when we see our old friends, there is no need to ask "whats up?" you already know... You followed them on Twitter... Instead of partying and telling stories into the night about your adventures, its been told on twitter, and it was about you eating ****ing fruit loops in your ****ing pajamas at 3 a.m.

    I will tell you what I see. I see an entire generation of insecure, immodest, self loathing, self help addicted, children... Now I have lived a few steps away from society for a while, maybe this has made my opinion bias in some way... I blame Facebook... Someone out there tell me I'm wrong.
  • Jan 25, 2011, 01:17 PM
    NeedKarma
    Facebook is what you make it. I have all apps blocked. It's a good way to share the goings on of our lives and to share photos. Like anything there are some that overdo it. Of course in this case FB's lack policies with the information you give it assures that it will be kept for a long time and used as FB sees fit to use it.
  • Jan 25, 2011, 01:44 PM
    Animus
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NeedKarma View Post

    Facebook is what you make it.

    This is where I disagree. Children adapt to environmental systems at key points in their lives, if Facebook is available and popular then they will adapt themselves to it. Facebook is NOT what you make it unless you encountered it at the stage of life where dealing with things in your method of reason has become pertinent.

    Basically children will wander down dark alleyways until you tell them its bad, or they get abducted.
  • Jan 25, 2011, 04:02 PM
    rpray2007
    Animus: I really appreciate the topic being raised here and I believe that there are several view points on the value of a social network such as Facebook. I guess I understand your frustration but I also offer that while Facebook might encourage a certain level of exhibitionism and voyeurism, our social norms are also changing. Just as the topic of sex might have been discussed dramatically differently in the 19th century, the norm for self-expression has also changed. So, while I might personally find Facebook less than optimal as a communication pattern, I dare not judge it for others as I believe the zeitgeist supports and values Facebook type interaction patterns.

    BTW - there is a new book (which I have yet to read) by Sherry Turkle (an MIT professor) about the use of social media and what it is doing to social communication. I believe it is called Alone Together http://www.amazon.com/Alone-Together...5996441&sr=1-1

    Again, thanks for raising the question and would love to see others chime in with their opinions.
  • Jan 25, 2011, 04:19 PM
    NeedKarma
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Animus View Post
    Children adapt to environmental systems at key points in their lives,

    This may be correct if only children used FB but it isn't children that use it, or at least it shouldn't be. My kids don't have a FB profile, do yours?
  • Jan 25, 2011, 04:21 PM
    Alty

    Quote:

    I will tell you what I see. I see an entire generation of insecure, immodest, self loathing, self help addicted, children... Now I have lived a few steps away from society for a while, maybe this has made my opinion bias in some way... I blame Facebook... Someone out there tell me I'm wrong.
    You're wrong.

    I agree with NK, Facebook, like this site, or anything else on the internet or in your everyday life, is what you make it.

    My kids are on Facebook. My son is 12, my daughter is 8. They're allowed 1/2 hour every day to either play a game on Facebook, or post on their friends walls. The deal was that I would and can access their accounts whenever I want, so they better watch out what they say, or do. I look at what they've posted every day.

    Each of them is allowed that 1/2 hour daily, and neither of them use it. My daughter hasn't been on her account in weeks, and my son goes on once a week or so, mostly if he has a question about his homework, because most of his classmates are friends of his on fb, and they'll help each other out.

    I go on my Facebook at least once a day, but I spend more time talking to my friends either via phone, or in person. The only people I communicate with via fb or another forum, are the people I can't call or see because of the distance between us.

    I also don't agree that friends that talk on Facebook have nothing to say to each other in real life. Have you been on Facebook? When someone posts it's usually a few words, or a funny little quip. There's still plenty to talk about when you get together with your friends.

    You certainly have a lot of strange questions.
  • Jan 25, 2011, 05:38 PM
    Animus
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Altenweg View Post

    You're wrong.

    You have clearly played your part in guiding your kids free time towards better values. However, I would be willing to bet that most of America doesn't do that. When I was growing up I never realized how strict my parents were until everyone I knew was getting drunk and smoking pot while I chilled at home before 5 p.m. From what I have seen most parents don't control their kids free time.
  • Jan 25, 2011, 07:29 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    I use Facebook to keep track and talk to, ( and even find) family members all over the US and in other nations.
    I have a Facebook account, as does my church, my martial arts studio,
    My kids and grandkids all have them.
    I can sit here, 250 miles from my granddaughter but still hear about her school day, and read her page and see what and how her life is going.
    Would never have a chance living so far apart.
  • Jan 25, 2011, 08:10 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Animus View Post
    You have clearly played your part in guiding your kids free time towards better values. However, I would be willing to bet that most of America doesn't do that. When I was growing up I never realized how strict my parents were until everyone I knew was getting drunk and smoking pot while I chilled at home before 5 p.m. From what I have seen most parents don't control their kids free time.

    Maybe that's the difference. I'm not in America. ;)

    When I was growing up there was no Facebook. Heck, computers were something only the super rich had, and even then, they weren't used for social networking, or any of the things we use computers for now.

    The fact is, computers are here to stay, and every aspect of computers has made our lives both easier, and harder at the same time. Information at your finger tips. I remember having to go to the library if I had to research a paper for school. It wasn't always ideal, but it taught me that nothing worth doing is easy, that you have to work for it. Nowadays kids just go online to do research, or they're lazy and don't even bother, they just come on to sites like AMHD and ask someone else to do it for them. That's one of the things I love about this site, we won't do homework for people.

    If all the computers crashed tomorrow, if the next generation were forced to do things the way we did when I was younger, they wouldn't survive. I doubt most of the teens and early 20 something's even know how to find a book in the library without asking someone.

    The fact is, even though I didn't miss having things like Facebook when I was a kid, it is something that I new treasure. Because of Facebook I can talk to my family in Germany. Instant communication, not the back and forth letters. We can actually talk. We can keep in touch. To me that's worth all the negative aspects of Facebook.
  • Jan 25, 2011, 08:24 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Our library does not even have "card catalogs" any more, they are only on the computer. I asked the young clerk where they were ( OK I don't go to library often, but went with my son a couple of week ago) and got a blank look.
  • Jan 25, 2011, 08:27 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    Our library does not even have "card catalogs" any more, they are only on the computer. I asked the young clerk where they were ( OK I don't go to library often, but went with my son a couple of week ago) and got a blank look.

    OMG! That's just insane.

    Okay, admittedly, it's been a while since I went to the library too. I hope they didn't get rid of our card catalogs. Why does everything have to be on the computer? If it ain't broke don't fix it.
  • Jan 25, 2011, 08:38 PM
    Alty

    Quote:

    Guess I will just relax, listen to a few of my 8 track tapes and polish my penny loafers
    Okay, believe it or not, I remember 8 tracks!

    The first car my parents bought when we moved to Canada had an 8 track. We only had two "albums" one was the Star Wars theme album, and the other one was so bad I don't even remember what it was. That's all we listened to, that or AM radio, because there was no FM (does that work the same in the States?)

    Let's not even get started about penny loafers, I'm starting to feel old. :(
  • Jan 25, 2011, 08:52 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Of course I can go back to when there was no color TV, only two or three channels. And the 8 track was a big deal, I got one of the first ones.
  • Jan 25, 2011, 11:10 PM
    Animus
    Comment on Fr_Chuck's post
    The phone won't work?
  • Jan 25, 2011, 11:49 PM
    Alty

    Animus, which one of Chucks posts did you comment on?

    It's easier if you use the answer box at the bottom of the page, and just quote the post you're responding to. :)
  • Jan 26, 2011, 05:36 AM
    NeedKarma
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    Our library does not even have "card catalogs" any more, they are only on the computer. I asked the young clerk where they were ( OK I don't go to library often, but went with my son a couple of week ago) and got a blank look.

    Same here. Our province is very progressive in technology, the kids all have the SmartBoards in their classes. There are nice staff and volunteers to help any folks use the computers to search for library assets.
  • Mar 1, 2011, 07:43 PM
    DuncanFisher
    I use Facebook, online I've only got about 12 people but offline you'll have to add a couple of 0's. Only reason I have Facebook is to spread the word about my website. Otherwise, I much prefer handling friends through the phone or in person.

    Not everyone needs to know you can't sleep and are watching Ninja Turtles... I guess I'm not a fan of Facebook. But to answer your question, I most definitely think that Facebook has some serious bad sides. My thirteen year old brother is a perfect example.

    He started using Facebook to keep in touch with some of his friends that moved away from his home state. But soon, he was chatting more with his friends through Facebook then actually chatting with them face to face. Now, he's pretty much a loner except for when he's at school.

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