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-   -   Need advice from people who've had similar experience with death and depression. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=16069)

  • Dec 13, 2005, 07:34 PM
    cskillet
    Need advice from people who've had similar experience with death and depression.
    I'm just writing this to 1) get some good advice about living in general and 2) getting these things off my chest. I'm 22 and my dad passed away about 6 months ago. I'm dealing with it fairly well but I'm finding that I'm having a lot of trouble enjoying life anymore. After his death I slowly distanced myself from my friends. I just didn't feel like being around anyone. I've lost a lot of motivation to work towards my career goals. Now I'm not satisfied with anything in my life anymore. The family's all broken up and I'm still not even sure if I'll be able to make it in the career path I chose. So basically everything's in limbo and I want things to feel normal again! Have any of you had a similar experience? What are you supposed to do when nothing seems to be going right? All responses are appreciated!
  • Dec 14, 2005, 01:12 AM
    CaptainForest
    I am sorry to hear about your father's passing.

    Will you ever get back to "normal"? No, you can't. Your old "normal" included life with your father. What you can hope for though is to get a new "normal" similar to your old one.

    Will you ever get over your father's death? You will proablly always miss him (especially since you 2 seem to have had a close relationship).

    However, time does heal all wounds, or at least, patches them up to a barable level. Eventually, you will be able to move on, and go about your daily life almost like you use to.

    Give it time, and try to spend some time with your other family or friends that you are close with, to help talk with someone else who feels the same way you do about this. It might help you in the healing process.
  • Dec 14, 2005, 05:46 AM
    fredg
    Death
    Hi,
    The answer before mine said it all.
    I lost both my parents, about 6 months apart, many years ago. Both of them will always be in my heart and in my thoughts. I was 24 at the time.
    The loss of a parent, especially when close with them, will take some time for your life to get back to "normal", but as has been said, will not be exactly the same.
    Before your Dad passed away, I am sure he was a very, very big part of your life, and things you did, plans you made, were as much for him as they were for you. Now, it's changed.
    Eventually, we decide that we have to keep going, making plans for us now, and hope Dad would have approved. Talking about it with others always helps, and it may take a few more months before you are really ready to buckle down, and get on with your life.
    If you can "force" yourself to do it, get out, and meet some other people, not family. The reason I say "not family" is that it will give you a chance to talk with someone "new", about other things. Try making a new friend, and I am sure your Dad will be in your conversations, and it's natural. It will give you a chance to find out about others, and how much they can help, too. It will help tremendously.
    I do wish you the best, and just keep "hanging in there"; things will get better, I assure you.
  • Dec 14, 2005, 04:29 PM
    DAVE231
    I have been through the same losses not so long ago, including my younger brother just last May. I think about my parents and brother every day of my life and pray to God to have mercy on their souls. My depression became almost unbearable, and yes, my own death entered into my thoughts when I thought that life wasn't that big of a deal anymore. What helped me to become somewhat normal again (this may not work for you) was seeing a doctor and being prescribed a medication for depression. You'll have to find out which one will be right for you, but when you do the sadness and dwelling on death will be lessened. It's tough to go through life without the people you love the most. Try to make it better by seeing a doctor. Don't give up and good luck to you. Life is so short- Enjoy each day if you can. God Bless.

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