My ex-boyfriend has changed his mind many times on wanting something to do with my unborn child. I am sure he is the father, but we have broken up and I do not want anything to do with him. I find him to be very immature, he has anger issues, maturity issues, and alcohol issues. The worst of it all, he's in school to become a police officer. I do not want him to have any rights to this child. He has told me a few times he would sign over his rights and then he changes his mind. He says " We need to think about the baby here, not just you"... but I don't want my baby to have to deal with his issues either. What can I do to keep him from having any rights at all?

Hello Little:

There's nothing you can do. He has rights because he's the father. That's just the way it is.

Frankly, YOU sound rather immature deciding for your baby that he or she shouldn't have a father. That isn't your decision to make. In fact, you decided your ex would be a fine and dandy father when you had unprotected sex with him.

excon

You do not say any ages here, but it sounds like late teens, maybe even early twenties. If that old even. The baby has a biological mother and father. You are not the one to determine the father's right to be in this child's life. If this guy does not want any contact with his child, that is his decision to make. He may think that by not having contact it relieves him of child support. That is a major error in logic. Now if this guy does physical harm to you, that becomes a legal matter than can be taken care of (such as a protection order, restraining order, etc.) But it does not relieve him of the child support.

You say he is in college to become a police officer. How did he get by the screening if he has the issues of anger and alcohol? Those cadets are usually flushed out before they start. What are some of your own issues? If we heard from your ex boyfriend, what would he say?

You need to find out about your parental rights - what you can and cannot do. I also hope you learn how to control yourself. When your child is born, he or she does not need to have the absent parent bad mouthed or degraded. That kind of behavior puts the child in the middle of a pile of dirty laundry. Makes the child feel responsible when the child is a pure innocent.

I did not mean for that to come across negative or immature... He's the kind of guy that... plays mind games... and I've finally learned them. It would be one thing if he was a decent man... but he's not. Not all the time anyway. He can't even handle a puppy that barks... he kicks it... What is he going to do with a crying baby? His living conditions are unfavorable for children. He does not plan on changing his environment any time soon. He thinks there is nothing wrong with it. He lives in a college party house pretty much. I'm just worried for my baby... He couldn't handle my 6 year old either.
P.S... My sex was protected... I was on the pill... I guess I'm in that 1% that the pill doesn't work for...

This is one guy who we do not need going around as a police officer. With his kind of attitude I can see some real trouble ahead, if he does not get some re-adjustment.

You and this guy have made a child together, whether he should be a police officer is not the main issue here. The main issue is the CHILD, you will not be able to stop him if he decides to get dna testing done to prove he is the father and yes he can take you to court for his parental rights, just as you could him if he had custody. IF you feel the child would be in danger then you would have to make sure you have proof of said accusations in court. The real tragedy of all this post is that he don't know from one minute to the next if he wants to claim the child, and as for you to want to try and deny the child to not see the father who in time the child will go look for. I don't want to make hurt feelings here but I am speaking the truth on this you are going to read now... The two of you as parents are both acting extremely selfish and neither of you are acting like mature adults. Trust me to raise a child is not easy when there is conflict between the parents but at least have the curtesy for your child, for the two of you as the parents to sit down and talk it out.MAKE whatever decisions the two of you have to make, sugn papers, whatever it takes and FOCUS on that child.