Hi, I've never done this before.

My ex and I were high school sweethearts, best friends however after 2 years into the relationship she decided she is unhappy and dumps me without any 1 concrete reason. I was working a lot of hours and sometimes we struggled to see each other.

Devastated I decided to not contact her for a bit to clear my head and just focus on my job, life whatever just to get by. A couple of weeks later she is dating some guy that she works with - IMO he's not a looker and has nothing going for him apart from immaturity.

A little time passes and I contact my ex, make small talk and suggest to meet up, just to discuss what had happened for some closure - the night I got dumped she did all the talking but I got told she can't see because of the new guy. I went from being her 1 and only trusted friend/partner to being a nobody to her - she just erased me from her life.

Now she acts/feels like a totally new person. Every time I tried to contact her she would get angry for no real reason and she acts as if she has done nothing wrong and gets angry because of how I feel (about literally being so close to someone then to a nobody). She also twists EVERYTHING as if I am the devil yet she seems to be able to do no wrong - despite 5 years of me loyally standing by her side both as a boyfriend and partner.

Since then we have had arguments about disagreeing with each other but have decided to be friends, and have had one small casual conversation on the Internet.

What's going on? Is the new guy a rebound? Is there any hope?

Its been 2 months since we broke up.

Doesn't matter if the new guy is a rebound or an ugly alien. Leave the girl alone and get your own life. That's what happens after a break up, it sucks, you hurt, but you move on. She has, and if you leave her alone, so will you.

I did leave her for about a month. The point is for years we were like glue, bestfriends and all - I never mistreated her.

Doesn't matter the fun you had before. That was then, this is now. Things have changed.

It is obvious this isn't what you want to hear, but you need to get totally out of her life and let yourself heal.

I know it isn't easy. I know it hurts and you want to hold on to what you had. However, it is gone. Whatever reasons she gave you for breaking up, take them as the truth. They may not have been concrete for you. They were and are for her.

She is dating someone new who may or may not be a rebound. That will be between them.

The more you try to speculate on their relationship or stay in touch with her, the more you are hurting yourself. You need to stop feeding yourself false hope and let go.

Understand that the relationship you had with her is gone. Even if she came back to you, it could never be the way it was. More than likely it wasn't as wonderful as you want to believe it was. It wasn't for her. If you are honest with yourself and look at the relationship as a whole picture instead of concentrating on bits and pieces, was it really a great relationship even before your job started causing issues?

Take care of yourself and give yourself the time space to heal. Stop torturing yourself with what she thinks, says, and does. Find things in your life that help you feel good about life and yourself. Meet new people and learn how to be single again (or rather, to think of yourself as single.)

Thank you cat, your not the first person to say I'm "torturing" myself.

The biggest problem is we had nobody for a long time. Then suddenly she's at a job and making friends but she's been with my crying about things they've said and done, how horrible they are, so to know she's still with them does hurt.

I feel as though things like posts on Facebook are mindgames. One min she is heartless and just generally angry - then she says things like how despite her dumping me I should have called her. Its like I can't win.

The hardest part is I felt like I was going to marry this girl - we had spoke about it, flats together etc and for her to get someone else only a few weeks after us breaking up is hard on me. 2 months later and I can't even look at another girl

Make it easy on yourself and block her or better yet delete her from your FB. The only thing that will come out of reading all her FB post is more confusion and hurt for YOU! Trust me FB will not give you any more clarity or understanding.

Sounds like she cheated on you. She's evidently feeling VERY guilty about something and doesn't want to confront it. In any event, you deserve better treatment than this.
It's not easy to give yourself closure, but you will get past this and find someone worthy of you.

Prusec I don't know if its guilt or anything to be honest, but when asked about how she's treating me her response was "i hope ur f***ing joking?!" she whole heartedly believes she's not done anything bad atall.

Now I can't even see her because of this new guy. Some nobody she's just met, despite me being there for her for years and years.

When I've told her how I've felt like I've been treated and such why is she angry? She says its how I'm making her look - but I've not been gossiping - only trying to talk to her. She's twisted a whole break up, making me feel like I've done "x, y z" wrong whereas she can go out partying, get a new guy, ditch me etc and she sees nothing wrong with that.

Just so confused

Arnold, even if the new guy wasn't in her life, you should be doing everything you can to let go and move forward. That includes de-friending her on FaceBook.

Don't try to be friends with her. You aren't emotional stable or distant enough from the relationship to be friends with her. You are still looking at the past and wanting it back. As I said before, that isn't going to happen.

You say that things went downhill when you were working a lot and struggling to see each other. It seem that somewhere in that time (perhaps even before) she gave up trying and fighting for the relationship. It doesn't make either one of you the 'bad' person or in the 'wrong'. Growing apart happens even when there aren't major issues.

You had plans and dreams that included her. Now, you need to file them away and make new ones that help you see a brighter future. Focus on yourself as an individual and what will help you build a life you will someday want to share with someone. Don't put all of your focus in one area such as your job. Look at hobbies, school, etc. that can help you maintain balance in your life. Go out with friends. Make new ones. Instead of looking at the past and anchoring yourself to 'what-might-have-been' or 'but we... ' look forward and see the opportunities that await you.

You don't have to be interested in dating or any particular female. Healing takes time and it is not something to rush. However, it also takes work. Letting go and accepting the relationship is gone is going to be some the hardest work you have ever done, but when the day comes that you realize you aren't thinking about her and you don't remember when the last time it hurt to remember the past was, it will be worth it.

Do not try to keep in touch with her. Ignore anything she has to say about anything including what the weather is like. Her opinions no longer matter in your life. Let her say what she wants or 'twist' things around. People who know you won't believe her and those that don't know you-why care?

Take care of yourself.

Thank you cat your words help me feel better.

I do wish it was how it was etc and despite being treated horribly wish I could have said the right thing or made everything better. Its hard more so because of the fact she's all I really had.

Letting her say what she wants and such is easier said than done but I agree with what your saying. I just can't believe how someone I loved so much could just get into a relationship with some guy (for 1 n 1/2 month now) the thought of them together actually makes me physically sick.

Since she's left me things have gone horribly - I've had issues at home even while we were together that she knows about, lost a stone in weight and currently receiving aid for depression and cbt (cognetive behavioural therapy). It feels so pointless

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Hi, in a nutshell basically ex and I were together for 2 years, best friends for 5. She dumps me in August and 3 weeks later is with someone else without giving me any closure, or chance to talk/resolve anything.

She broke my heart, I lost a stone in weight, I currently have no social life apart from uni and am going through therapy for severe depression. So yes she hurt me lol. Anyway she's still with the loser but its been about 4 months since she dumped me and we haven't spoken apart from a few messages online. I love her so much that I feel, despite her breaking my heart and her cutting me out of her life and choosing people she barely knows over me, that "letting her go" is the right thing to do (shes clearly moved on from me, but we have a long history). I want her to be happy and I'll treasure the memories and relationship we had forever.

Not as some BS get her back, technique but I feel that accepting and letting her go is for the best despite how much I love her. Truth is despite her many flaws (yet she thinks she's perfect lol) I loved her from the heart, she was my best friend, and we'd spoke about our future, sadly that's irrelevant now.

Should I let her know? Or should I just accept this myself and continue moving forward?

Closure is whenever you get over someone, regardless as to what you might think closure is. An ex is an ex, leave her alone, she doesn't need to know you are happy for her, if she is happy, then that is good enough. Is time to stop looking after her, go no contact, and move on with your life. Pursuing a friendship will be a bad idea at this point since you are still feeling like you OWE something to her.

Its hard, was best friends, never mistreated her once. Been no contact for about a month and a 1/2. I've answered the few online messages that's really it. I miss her

Stay with NC, and keep moving on yourself. Yeah its hard now but well worth it for the healing process.

It is hard but **** it uno? I loved her and she dumped me and treated me like trash and acts like she's done nothing wrong, bestfriends etc all that, she's been with her new guy 3 months so obv I'm not on her mind like she's on mines. I'm going to stick to no contact and continue putting one foot in front of the other! She has my details if she wants to talk. As for me I'm going to try my best not to even think of her. She's made her bed and I did my best.