Have some stupid mistakes in my life and I
Am paying heavily for this Episode. #1
October 29,2014 I had protected vaginal sex
With a female csw.I also french kissed
Her.Later found the girl HIV +.After 5 weeks I
Experienced severe flue type illness.Swollen
Lymph nodes under jaw and neck,loose
Stool,hedeach,severe muscle and joint
Pain,rash on both arm. I have tested after 3
Months with 3rd generation rapid test,after 5
Months with 3rd generation elisa, after 6.5
Months with 3rd generation rapid test.All are
Negative.#Episode 2 November 17 2015 I
Was with a female csw.. We were fully
Naked.The girl offered me to have
Unprotected sex with her.As far as I can
Recall I didn't penetrate the girl but my penis
Came close to her vagina.Now my mind says
If I penetrated the girl without my knowing
Though I didn't feel anything. Episode 3# July
16 2017 I had protected oral and protected
Vaginal sex with a female csw.Dont know
Why? Vaginal part only lasted 10-15
Seconds.The girl seemed a consistent
Condom user.No real symptom aftee 1-4
Weeks. Episode 4 # October 17 2017 I had
Protected vaginal sex with a csw.She offered
Me to have sex without a condom for extra
Charge.But she assured me she gets tested
Every month. Now you are thinking what's the
Real problemActually Im experiencing the
Symptom of overt aids.Lose of appetite,Losing
Weight,fatigue, dizziness ,swollen lymph
Nodes,loose stool,stomach upset,nail
Fungus,clubbing nail and slight dementia are
Making my life hell. I
Don't know what to do? I cry and pray to
God.Ive ruined my life.I haven't tested for second third and fourth exposure.

Pray. I cant imagine a human being would make this many sexual mistakes in a life time. WTF. are u a troll.

Get tested! See a doctor. Making mistakes and getting lost is treatable, just like AIDS...if indeed you have it.

Since she offered" no condom sex for more $$", you must be using a prostitute. CSW? Certified Sex Worker? You'll always be worried!!

I have never had unprotected sex in my life.I thought protected sex is safe sex.

I always thought protected sex is safe sex.May be I was wrong.

Episode 1 was almost 4 years ago and you didn't learn from it. And can't you meet someone who doesn't participate in this work arena? From where I sit, you dug this hole and you have to climb out of it.

Go see your doctor. Get tested again. Once you find out you are not carrying the disease, stop having sex of any kind with prostitutes. Find a real life girlfriend and get yourself out of the gutter.

Do you think condom didn't work?

DUDE... everybody knows condoms are not 100% guaranteed for any type of protection from pregnancy or disease. Better than NOTHING maybe. In addition diagnosing yourself is an all time mistake, and a poor substitute for expert clinical help. Of course you should change your behavior, which is the root of the problem because a piece of paper certifying you is no guarantee of safety either.

I will never indulged in these risky behaviors.Will I get another chance to correct my mistakes.Don't know..

I don't know either, but you can get yourself checked, and follow directions, and do better going forward. I think you stop wallowing in your own misery over the past, and get busy doing the RIGHT thing for yourself.

"I will never indulged in these risky behaviors.Will I get another chance to correct my mistakes.Don't know..."

This is the way you feel and act when you think you have a problem. If you get a clean bill of health, what decision will be made at the next brothel or wherever you are finding these "workers"?

Now I am in complete abstinence.Feeling hopeless.

Because you are worried. Once you get your clean bill of health, you will be back to your ways unless you finally learn your lesson.

Olver I came here for advice not lecture.yeah I am suffering for what I did.

So begs the question of when is your doctor appointment? You want advice and not a lecture? Then confine your posts to questions and not declarations. Don't you have friends besides the CSW's you pay? Maybe that's the problem. Obviously you need some love and support through your misery, because of this self imposed abstinence brought about by your health fear, so a doctor and a friend is your answer.

No close friends? I see little benefit for beating yourself up over whatever mistakes a human makes when the priority should be a plan to address whatever your consequences may be. Maybe your mistake was not building a life that you enjoy with family friends and activities instead of seeking CSW's to exchange money for sex. Maybe your perspective is skewed seeing your predicament as a bad thing instead of a good thing that changes your future behavior in a better healthier direction.

So that doctors appointment is when? I would have been at a public health clinic when I knew something was wrong, so get off your pity pot and get busy. That was and is my advice so why haven't you done so? We all make mistakes and suffer for them, but doing something about it is your solution to getting on the right track.

Thanks my dear friend.you were spot on and got my problem.I have been depressed for last 15-16 years.I was dropped out from the university,don't have a stable career,broke up with my 2 girlfriends.Failure in every aspects of life.I always feel inferior to my friends relatives.So,I choose csw to get rid of the depression.That's the stupidity I know.But friend you are realizing. I've gone to a HIV specialist.He says you are free from the first exposure because all of the antibody tests are negative after six months.Most of the symptoms I have been suffering from the first exposure.He says 2nd exposure is not really a exposure because you haven't penetrated the girl.If you penetrated her you would have known that.He also says 3rd and 4th exposure are too early for overt AIDS and possibility of infection is very small because of condom use.But he recommended a HIV test and very confident it will be negative.I am very scared friend.Don't know what to do.

Why did you drop out of your university studies? That was the key I think to a STABLE career plan. Self esteem and confidence in most of us is tied to accomplishment, stability, and security. You are not alone in your challenges as we all face them whatever they may be. Really doesn't matter does it? What does matter is how you handle those challenging events, and depression like anything else must be MANAGED by a professional clinician, AND a plan.

Obviously you have not sought the proper help for this depression, so I urge you do so. Hey look at it like this, instead of buying sex, by a clinician or doctor for your depression. FEAR is often at the heart what prevents us from being healthy, in mind, body, and soul, and leads to mistakes in thinking, actions, and behavior. Courage through knowledge and facts is a good way to proceed at this point. Sound like the start of a reasonable plan?

No one should be a slave to their own fears my friend.

Thanks for your kind word friend. Defininitely I will do as you suggest.

Friend what do you think about the possibility of HIV infection

If you don't mind I would like to ask you a question.Is accidental vaginal penetration possible without knowing and feeling ?I didn't think I penetrated her and didn't want to penetrate her.But my mind says if I penetrated her without my knowing.I am talking about the second encounter.please friend help me.