Hello there,
I'm new to the forum, I usually don't talk about this kind of stuff with family or friends because I know that I may just hear what want to hear, so that's why I ask here to people who doesn't know me who would answer honestly.
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me two months ago, we were together for about ten months and the first five months were awesome, I can tell that no one loved me as much as she did and I loved her as never loved before, I feel that our relationship was a very nourishing experience for both, but there have been some problems that have taken a lot from us. Her mother is a despicable person, she would just mistreat her psychologically and fiscally, she would not even pay her studies anymore. I helped her as much as I could, she was going through a difficult situation and I thought that at some point she could do something stupid. I emotionally supported her, I paid her studies the for four months so she could finish her career. She was very thankful for me doing all this but she was still very apprehensive about the situation with her mother, we had plans of living together in a close future, but I wasn't prepared to live with her so soon, she never told me but I know that she wanted me to get her out of her house and bring her with me, I couldn't do that. A little later she became too insecure, she has friends telling her that I work too much, that I must have another girl, that I'm not giving her enough attention. She constantly told me that she was afraid of losing me, because she thought that she was not good enough for me. I told her a lot of times that it wasn't like that, that I loved her as she was and that I loved to love her, but she wanted to be sure of it so she starts demanding more attention, I tried to please her but after awhile it becomes annoying, I wasn't able to do something aside from my work and her and begin to feel some sort of frustration and unintentionally became a little indifferent, she notices it and we talk about this but she doesn't seem to understand, I tried to make an effort for her but it doesn't work, it's just the same thing again. Two months ago she fell into a deep depression when she moved to another city, she found no friends, no work and things are not like she thought it would be, she wanted me to be there with her but my work would not allow me to go immediately, so she decides to break up with me, while this happens I feel upset and said something about the money I was giving to her and she just been with me for it. This just made things worse. We had no contact for about a month and I was OK, my life was as if nothing had happen for about a month, but then I think that I may have been assuming things wrong, I send a mail apologizing for what I said and telling her that we need to talk. We talked later by phone and reconsider the possibility of continuing with our relationship but we have to talk in person first, but as we talk I see that she is into the same thing been too dependable and demanding too much and I decide that I can't fall for the same again and that I must cut with this vicious circle.
I feel too confused with all this, I can't understand what is what she wants, I don't know, maybe don't want to accept that she doesn't love me, I don't even know if I really love her or this is just an infatuation. There are days that I'm fine I feel that I got rid of a huge problem and it makes me feel better, but there are days that I feel too damn stressed I miss a lot of things from our relationship and have anxiety crisis, I know that if I go to see her, we most probably will get back, but I fear that it will be worse and more hurtful for both.
Thanks for reading, I would appreciate your comments.
