My faith is being aggressively tested.
Over the past 4 or 5 years, I have grown closer and closer to my God. Recently, I needed His help. When I had no other thing or person to turn to, I held on to my faith that He will not abandon me in my time of need. Even as disappointments threatened my hope, I held onto Him even more. As friends and family had no words of comfort or advice, I found strength in my faith in Him. I prayed, implored, and pleaded. But, the thing I prayed for, what I needed from Him, has been lost. I can't explain how let down I feel. What happened to "Ask...and knock..."? What happened to "If you believe..."? What about "Have faith..."?
Even now, I am trying to tell myself that He will open other doors for me... or that He has better plans.. or that things will work out... But, I can still feel the bitterness at the back of my throat.
How can I hold onto my faith, belief, and love for my God even as I am overwhelmed by a stunned disappointment?