I've perfected the art of crying
Threads merged
So I had finally decided to end my three year relationship with my boyfriend two days ago. I tried to call him to tell him its over but he didn't give me a chance to say it as he was busy. Fine so I sent a text message asking him not to call me again. He called later that day but I didn't answer the phone. He called the next morning 5:40 am then at six o'clock, I did not answer the phone. Then he uses someone else's phone to call me around the same time and I didn't trust it so I didn't answer the phone, and it did turn out to be him. Anyway at about one two o'clock I started to feel just awful for ignoring his calls and so I decided to take his call around two o'clock. He said that he needed to talk to he a little later on when he is free. I said fine then hung up the phone. I waited for him to call me all night but he didn't.
Fine, the next day, well today actually, I called him this morning to ask him what he had to tell me, again he rushed me off the phone and said he was busy and that he would call later. At this time I'm getting angry. Again I tried calling a little while ago and this time no answer. Now I see this is all a game to him. I was fully prepared to cut him out of my life then he does this. So I sent a text calling him a liar and for him not to contact me ever again because we will never be then I turned my phone off.
Why did I break up? Oh let me count the ways.
First of all he went away to visit relatives for a whole month and only called me three times.
He didn't call me when he first came back claiming he was trying to catch up. He asked me to come over and I did. We had "quality time" (something I now regret). THe next day I tried calling him but he didn't answer the phone, I texted him saying that I don't think he loves me anymore. He calls back about twenty minutes later but by then I'm at the movie theatre. The next day I get no phone call from him, which to me proved that he didn't care how I felt and this spured on the break-up. I am a believer in tough love and can't tolerate games. We're both adults. If he wasn't interested in me all he had to do was say, after all I've given him so many opportunities to say so. This is why I get angry at him. I wanted him to be upfront and honest. If the love isn't there then it isn't there. I would respect him so much more if he was man enough to be straight with me. It didn't have to end like this. What I just mentioned may seem petty to some but if I continue to get taken in by his games I would start losing it. He continues to stomp on my already fragile heart and it's not right.
Was I too harsh or justified?
Complicated Ex BF Situation
So here is the deal. I broke up with my boyfriend of four years two and a half weeks ago. The reason we broke up is because he started telling lies about his whereabouts and had some shady behavior that I didn't trust. It happened when I was at his house while he was fixing my car (he's a mechanic) so he left with it to bring it back. Basically I stayed at his place. Found a recent picture of a trip that he took a couple months ago. At that time he told me he went to see some specialist for his "illness". Immediately that was a lie he told me, obviously to cover up that he went away with some other woman. He said his "family" surprised him with a trip when he went to visit them (give me a break). Too many lies and covering up, if that were the case why didn't he just say that in the beginning when he came back. Anyway we had a huge fight I wanted to leave but he swore up and down that he wasn't with another woman. I remembered too that when he left he neglected to tell me and for a week I didn't know if he was alive or not and I was sick with worry. Anyway he managed to calm me down (temporarily) then we "made up". So he asked me to drop him by his work place and I said goodbye and that was that.
Later on that night he calls me and asks why I didn't call him. During those hours I had time to really think about the whole situation and realized that his lies were too much to get over and I told him that I wanted to end the relationship. He was surprised and again tried to defend his lies. So he asked if we can be friends but I said no. So he still attempted to make amends but I just couldn't deal and hung up. The next day he calls me and he sounds devastated. Told me some lame reason for calling asking me if my father was still selling his truck. I asked him if he wanted my father's number directly so that they can discuss their own business. He said no. I asked him if he is okay but he asked me not to worry about him then hangs up. So I sent him a text saying that I'm sorry for hurting him and that I care about what happens to him. He didn't respond.
That weekend I went away and left my cell phone home. When I got back I saw 17 missed calls from him! So I get worried and calls him back but it's about Sunday 8 o'clock and he doesn't answer although I know he saw the call but was probably mad that he couldn't reach me. So the next morning I call him and I tell him I went away for the weekend. So he asks if I went with my new boyfriend, I said no but he was a little demanding in wanting to know who I went away with. I reassured him that it was a solo trip. He said he was just calling to say hi but I didn't believe him.
So shortly after that he called pretty often. Asking me if I think I made a mistake about breaking up. He really put me on the spot because I am unsure as to weather or not I did. I had been having second thoughts and I know he wants to get back together. He called me sweetie a couple days ago (on purpose) then apologized and said "oh I forgot since you dumped me I can't call you that". So slowly we started talking regularly almost like we were together. He was waiting for me to tell him that I regret breaking up but the words just can't come. He asked me several times to see me but our schedules didn't mix well. Anyway yesterday I went by his work to tell him that my brakes are acting funny so he tells me to come tomorrow morning which is today to change them. I asked him how much it will cost but he tells me I don't have to pay, however I told him to let me pay but he insisted that he would. Shortly after that we get into a fight because we couldn't decide where I would stay while he fixes it. I told him today isn't really a good day for me but decided to go anyway. This morning I arrive and he tells me he is going to drop me home, I live far but whatever. When he pulls up he tells me tells me the cost! This surprised me because he said it would be free but he said since I insisted to pay he will charge me but not for the labor. He knows I don't have much money but I angrily pay him and then storm off. If he is trying to get back why would he charge me? We have been fighting these past couple days so I guess so.
It just seems like his actions are showing me that it probably isn't worth it to get back together. I can't seem to get over the lies but I do miss him sometimes and wonder if he could possibly be my future husband. Should I just leave it be or try to work on this?