Not in love with husband anymore
I got married at 19, had my first child at 20, then my little boy at 24. All along my marriage I have been going through the struggles of finishing my education, raising my kids, and taking care of my sick mother-in-law. My husbad is 44 and I am 29.
I just fell out of love. But have a guilty concience because of the good man he is. He is the one man out there any woman wishes to have.
For the past few years, sex to me has been like going to gym. A work out for him. Now, I'm at this point in my life where I just can't stand living in this surreal any more. Sometimes I feel like taking a bunch of pills and not wake up. It's like I don't belong here. When he leaves the house is when I feel like myself.
I understand the whole staying thing for the kids. Actually, to confess myself, I got married to get out of the house. I just don't like him as a man anymore.
He keeps trying, he is a wonderful man. The nice kind of family man. But that's not what I want.
For the past few years, I have just been concentrating on my studies again, work and family to drive my other feeling of wanting to be unfaithfull away. I see other men, and I desire them.