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This girl who's interested in me recently told me that she lost hers at 14.The legal age here is 16.Im not sure whether to be put off by this because it seems a bit young. She said she's never had sex after that but that's not the point.woulnt care if she's a virgin or not but not sure if I should be put off by this fact.shes 19 by the way now.
Could she be lying? Trying to impress you so you don't think she is not experienced??
On the other hand you can't judge someone just for the age they lost there vaginity it is said to be kept for that special someone just remember some are more nieve than others and believe that what ever the age that one person is worth giving it to, even if in years to come they realise that it really wasn't. But you can't turn back the clock right.
If you are judging her based on her past that is not fair. Who cares what age she lost her virginity? Is she a good person, one that you want to get to know? I say let the past be the past and move on, get to know her. You might miss out on getting to know a really special person if you let something like the age she lost her virginity stand in your way.
Moreover, I tend to agree with CBW. I think she might of lied to impress you, but then realized that you were not impressed, and now is trying to back track.
Either way, don't let this stand in the way of you getting to know the person that she is now.
Well if she was 14 now and you were asking if that was to young, yes of course it is, But the older and older you get, the more and more you will meet girls who have had all sorts of bad past relastionships.
The first and most important rule is: don't judge from past, don't ask about past, that is just that past.
I know lots of girls who lost there viginity at 14 (not that I'm saying it's a good idea.) I think it depends on where someone grew up and the culture. I don't think you should be worried about her/ put off. It's all in the past after all and you don't know the circumstances. Unlike other posters I don't believe she is lying.
Firstly I'm not judging her at all,I was merly asking opinions because it doesn't really bother me.I know for a fact that she isn't lying because she once dated my mate who she gave it too.its only within the last 8 months that we got in touch again and started talking and she has since fallen for me.
If she was 14 and the age of consent is 16 she was raped because the law says she is to young to consent. The fact that she says she hasn't done anything since then backs up the fact that is was a bad experience for her. Why would you judge someone who had something done to them before they mature enough to consent to it?
Past is the past...
No, you shouldn't be put off by it. Would you be put off by it if it was a guy?
I knew girls who had lost theirs at 12---and I was appalled!
It's part of her past, it's part of what makes her "Her". As long as you odn't get hung up on it, you should just take her for the woman she is today.
If someone judged ME today by a decision I made at 14, I think I'd probably clock them.
Yea thanks I'm NOT judging her just a lot of people that I know have very strong opinions towards the fact that she did it when she was 14.Ive since spoken too her and I told her it doesn't bother me and I now know that she regrets it was was going to tell me she was a virgin if I hadn't already known about her past experience.She also told me that she wants to give her selfproclaimed new virginity away too me if I choose to be more then friends with her,which at this point Ive realised that Ive had a crush on her for months now and not realising it till 3 days ago.
Aww that's so sweet. Good luck and the best to both of you!:pQuote:
Originally Posted by UnwantedHero
I agree that 14 is a little young but everyone makes mistakes. I made the same one and lost mine at the same age (I'm 20 now) and I didn't sleep with anyone again until I was almost 16 ( I know its not a long span there but when I was 16 I met the most wonderful man I've ever met and we've been together since. He knows my past but does not care about it on account he has sex when he was 12. Some people just make mistakes no ones perfect. And about her sleeping with someone else like 8 months ago. She's an adult now. Maybe it was a mistake then. Who knows... but I am glad you two like each other and good luck to you bolth
Hello.
If you learn one thing for this site I hope it's the fact you can't live in or for the past. You have to be able to deal with a problem then let it go, not just at that time but forever. Your future will bring you many problem to deal with and you will meet each one head on and work your way through them and learn from them. That's what makes us strong in life.
If you care for who she is today then go after her. Let her be your Virgin or if your smart ask her to wait until you know your meant for each other as you would a Virgin.
Good Luck
Dennis777
Hey , I think there's no big different between 14 and 16 so it doesn't matter so if you love her so try to trust her and if you found she is not good so leave herQuote:
Originally Posted by UnwantedHero
I lost my virginity when I was 14. Sadly, I was one of the last girls in my class to loose my virginity. I think it really depends on where you grow up. I regret losing it that early now but you can't change the past.
It will always depend on the law, if the law says that legally you can have sexual intercourse with a lady after she's 21 then that's what it will be. You can't take the risk because if by any chance something goes wrong she can't help you in court because she is minor!
Think about... ;)
While I am hardly a prude and solidly advocating abstanance its nothing someone should be in a rush to do... because once you start its on your mind a lot and lets face it.. kids don't need the distractions from school. They collectively aren't doing all that well anyway. And doing less than your absolute best WILL affect your life as it does effect discipline and earning potential. Once you have completed college then, and only then should you seriously consider it. I know what a distraction getting laid was for me in college.
So to answer your question... 14 is too young in my opinion, but my mom said you'd always KNOW when you were ready so maybe she was ready or maybe someone took advantage of her. Who cares if you love her and want to be with her. Just don't ever through it in her face, because that is probably hard enough on her anyway. GOOD LUCK with the two of you.
What she has done in the past is over. Who she is now is what counts.
Yea I agree with you there tal small probs come up though, she's moving about 4 hours away from me in a month because she still lives with her parents and her dads in the army and he's been stationed four hours away so I don't think Im going to pursue a relationship with her which does suck because we had a few moment together latly which have been good but since I found out a few days ago I thought to myself that I should back off a bit just so that we just remain friends and that's it.
Female bodies are frequently ready to make babies at 12 years old. That means they want to do it. Virginity experiences a quick, bloody death. Then there are years to have sex and realize what a silly convention the protection of virginity is. I lied about my first time so that the guy wouldn't know I was a virgin. The question remains... who cares? Do you care about her? Does she care about you? Questions of virginity smack of ownership! If you care about her, it simply can't matter if anyone has been there before, or at what age.Quote:
Originally Posted by UnwantedHero
Hey if you love the girl so be it.shes 19 now get over itQuote:
Originally Posted by UnwantedHero
Hey if you ARE REALLY feeling her don't worry so much it happened a long time ago... don't hold that against herQuote:
Originally Posted by ci ci
You shouldn't judge the girl by the age she lost her virginity. It doesn't matter what the legal age is where you are. Its not right for you to judge her because of this.Quote:
Originally Posted by UnwantedHero
Though this may seem strange and gross, a growing number of 8-10 year olds are getting involved in sexual acts. They may not necessarily understand what they are doing, just that it feels good.Quote:
Originally Posted by UnwantedHero
Sex is a natural thing, you have been conditioned into believing 14 is too young purely by the beliefs of the people around you and the laws which most abide.
Sex is not Dependant on age, if a 14 year old is mature, then they can make that decision to go ahead with it.
If you and her want to be together now, you've just have to accept the fact, she is no-longer a virgin and not be put off purely by the age she lost it.
Hope this helps,
Louis.
The avg teen loses her virginity at 15
I would disagree totally, while there are some having sex at 12, and some at 14 and some at 15 it is for from the average. It is till much older on the average.
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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
A London School of Hygiene says “In Britain, the average age at which people lose their virginity is 16 for both men and women. The latest estimates suggest 12.5 per cent of boys and 6.9 per cent of girls have had sex before the age of 15, but these figures may be skewed by the tendency of boys to exaggerate sexual activity.”
Seventeen magazine says it's 17 (for girls).
Canadian statistics say 17.
I think it depends on who does the survey - and who answers the question.
All studies say the "average age" is getting higher, not lower - but, again, who is paying for these studies - ?
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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
Probably some of the same people that say the abstinence program in the public schools is working.
I knew girls who were having sex when I was like 13 they teased me because I was a virgin I was like guys we are 13 and theyd be like so... I mean I think kids may not be engaging in full intercourse but doing things like oral sex and anal sex instead
And how many of them ended up pregnant and dropping out of school, or might end up dying of aids?Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinkletOes26
Its not the 60's any longer where the worst that could happen required a few shots of penincillan or a supply of diapers.
how about we do this stop thinking that this whole abstinence thing is going to work its not. Some teens are going to have sex some are not.
I lost my virginity at 21 not because my mama told me premarital sex was a sin not because my school taught us not to have sex until we are "in a committed relationship like marriage" because ME MYSELF AND I decided when the right time was for me.
The only reason I knew about condoms and because was because I read a LOT when I was growing up. I would read books about sex. So because of this I was prepared when I did decide to have sex I was fully knowledgeable of how to be safe.
You maynot like the idea of litle susie or johnny having sex but they MUST be prepared. Kids gets stds and pregnant because they don't know how to be safe. Keeping them from knowing what a condom is isn't going to stop anyone.
Ppl were doing it before we had because methods and they'll continue on whether they know about them or not.
~stepping down from soap box now~
Really? Not going to work. How about AIDS, HERPES, and drug resistant strains of ghonorreah or Syphylis for starters. Abstinance is the best way to avoid those... and having sex willy nilly is the most quick way to get them, and those examples will be with you for life if they don't end your life.Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinkletOes26
Go to an AIDS ward with end stage people that were not drug abusers and tell them abstinance wouldn't work.
Like I said... this isn't the 60's anymore. AIDS ended that once and for all in the laste 70's and early 80's.
And its not all gay guys and drug abusers that are dying of AIDS. And a large and fastest growing percentage are teens that like you thought abstinance was a joke.
[QUOTE]]Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
You should teach kids how to protect themselves. Teach them about condoms and tell them how to properly use condoms... im not saying teens should be having sex willy nilly (adukts should either in my opinon.) but I'm saying if they are going to have sex they should be prepared.This is where abstinence teaching fails and that is why not only teens but young adults in there 20s like me think it's a joke. It does not prepare teens it tries to scare them into not having sex. It doesn't work it just makes them unprepared.
Wait until you are old enough to have a 14 year old... or be the parent of a young pregnant teenager. When its YOU that's paying for all the costs involved with your mature ennough to procreate but not mature enough to support themselves teenager... or your 12 year old contracts AIDS from banging any guy or girl that looks at them, and statistics show it does happen. The rate that teenagers are infected with STD's alone shows what's wrong with that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Username Here
And its not a personal jab but your comments make me question your claimed age. Most 20 something's understand the point I am making. It's the teens that think they are invincible that don't. Considering 1 in 4 teens currently has an STD and the fact I have made it 47 years without getting one shows my point. Catch a treatible STD consider yourself lucky... it could have just as easily been something not treatible.
Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
Not just dying - the people living out there with HIV and AIDS.
And the sexually transmitted diseases - many of which can render you sterile. And I am constantly amazed by the number of people who have prescriptions filled for help managing their herpes. Condoms are not the answer when it comes to contracting herpes.
I don't know what the answer is.
Again - here's my problem with these threads.
Someone posts, someone answers, first post gets "edited" (changed). Not fair to the person responding. (No, not you Smoothy - although this may follow your post and look like it's intended for you.)
Fully agree. Its hard to know when someone is editing their thread... sometimes there is an overlap. I've been caught on both ends of that before as have many.Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
In this case I think a moderator pulled a post.
No kid that's still living on their parents dime has any business indulging in risky behaviour. When they finsih school and pay their own way then they are responsible enough for that.
Few have the emotional maturity to be doing that until then. And that's not even considering the disease end of things that can't be ignored these days.
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Originally Posted by akshay10888
Cut and pasted 3 times today -
Quote:
Originally Posted by akshay10888
Cut and pasted 3 times today -
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