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-   -   5 year old sexually activity (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=550874)

  • Feb 3, 2011, 11:31 AM
    tewoods
    5 year old sexually activity
    I have a 5 year old step son and a 3 year old son... This all atarted about 6 months ago when I walked in the bedroom and Caught my 5 year old masturbating like A grown man would naked on his bed with my 3 year son and my two 1 year old daughts watching... a week or so later I caught him licking my 3 years butt and then it progressed to try ing to stick things in my 3 year olds butt.. My 5 year old spoke with his counsoulr at school and no one sees a problem exepect for me.. Then last night we walk in the bedroom about 3 mon after we herd the door close and my 5 year old is laying on the bed naked and has my 3 year old son lying on topof him he did have only underware on. When I asked what they were doing my 5 year replied were having sex...

    My five year old said he learned it off TV.. in my opoin I don't see how he would have learned the word meaning and actions of having sex off TV.. I can't rremebr e er watching somehting on TV where they are having sex and say they are having sex...

    I am really worried about him and his dad doesn't want to believe that somehting could be happening I know he didn't see any of that at my house and his dad will not talk to his mom I am very concerned and don't know what to do.. please give advice
  • Feb 3, 2011, 11:38 AM
    joypulv
    Believe him when he says he saw it on TV (or a computer). He doesn't know what it really means yet. He wasn't really masturbating like a man either, just doing what he saw. This is not to say that the porn shouldn't be found and stopped. Get all adults in one room and read them the riot act.

    Who exactly lives with whom? How many parents?
  • Feb 3, 2011, 12:09 PM
    jenniepepsi

    I personally find it hard to believe that the school said they were not concerned about this. The 5 year old masterbating is perfectly normal. As is his siblings trying to watch. But don't let them watch. Teach your son its private and NO ONE should be with him when he does this. It is perfectly fine but privately.
    And the act of including his siblings, sends huge red flags to me. I absolutely believe all 3 kids should be spoken to by a psychologist and make sure it truly IS something they simply saw
  • Feb 3, 2011, 05:55 PM
    JudyKayTee

    No matter if he understands or not, no matter his age, some of this is abusive behavior.

    He needs to speak to someone who is trained to speak with children who have "issues."

    NOW!
  • Feb 4, 2011, 08:14 AM
    martinizing2

    This sounds like something the child has been exposed to more than just seeing it on TV.

    Someone may be watching porn and not paying attention to the kids who can see it also.

    Or someone may be showing them porn as a prelude to abuse.
    Grooming them.

    This is has too many sinister connotations to be let go.

    A psychologist is where I'd take them to find out.
  • Feb 5, 2011, 09:42 AM
    Jake2008
    There is a difference between a five year old, 'experimenting', and then with a five year old actually engaging in sexual activity.

    Because it is the latter, it is not age appropriate.

    While you work at getting to the bottom of this with a skilled therapist (see your Doctor for a referral), you need to step up monitoring of ALL activities. Things should never go so long that there is time for these kids to all engage, either by observing, or participating, in sexual activity. You need to keep them in your sites, at all times.

    Don't assume the activity will stop because you said so. Or because you punish them in some way. There is a cause and effect going on here, and until you and a therapist can get to the truth of the matter, you won't know what you are dealing with.

    It is daunting for many reasons. Nobody wants to face that which they think is impossible, or that it is not what they are really seeing, or that they are just over reacting.

    You have described a situation, that needs immediate intervention, and assessment, and most likely advice and guidance in how to deal with the truth, when it does come out.

    Please do something. The sooner that you address this, the better.
  • Feb 5, 2011, 11:34 PM
    LittleL_J5
    Go see someone now! 5 yr olds don't know anything about sex unless they are exposed to it regularly or are being abused. Unfortunately most of the time it's the latter so please please find help asap!
  • Feb 5, 2011, 11:37 PM
    jenniepepsi

    LittleL, I have to disagree with you here. These activitys MAY be simply re enacting something the boy saw. Nothing more. Yes it is more likely that something bad is going on here, but it is also possible he saw something he should not have (walked in on mom and boyfriend, walked in on mom or step dad watching porn ect) and is simply copying it.


    Either way, the boy needs to be seen and I hope he does get seen by a psychiatrist
  • Feb 6, 2011, 12:53 AM
    Alty

    What worries me most is not the masturbating, or even curiosity about sex, but the fact that he's not only letting his siblings watch, but engaging them in this activity, and calling it sex. He's displaying very worrisome behavior. Many kids will touch themselves, masturbate at 5, but to actually attempt to perform sex acts on others, is a hug red flag, and needs to be dealt with as soon as possible.

    This can't be done at home. You need a professional to handle this, and all the parents need to be involved. You may want to consider counseling for your other children as well, as they have essentially been sexually molested (that's my opinion).
  • Feb 6, 2011, 06:09 AM
    JudyKayTee

    Trying to stick things in another child's "butt" may be intended to be sexual but it is also physical abuse.

    (Note that OP has not come back.)
  • Mar 23, 2011, 04:46 PM
    mulattomama
    To say this situation is scary is an understatement. I definitely agree that these children all need to talk to counselors who specialize in talking to little kids about this kind of thing. I also agree that ALL the parents need to get together to discuss this as it's not normal at all.

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