I sliped and fell over my child s toy and did the splits,when it happened it felt like a hot poker went in my thigh.A few days later a massive bruse appered on the back of my leg,now it has spread down and at first advil controlled the pain but now nothing controls it and I'm not sure what to do next. It is becoming to the point I can't sit ,stand or lay.Ice makes it real stiff and heat makes it hurt.

No ice. Warm baths, memory foam, heating pad on low with a damp washcloth between you and pad. Keep your feet warm too.
Alternate Tylenol with ibuprofin, if you are healthy enough (kidneys and liver) for both. Otherwise call your doctor.