I am married and have been for 7 years. I married young, quickly and to a man that I have nothing in common with. I have began talking to an old high school acquaintance and am having thoughts about having an affair. My husband and I do not see each other due to work schedules, and things that should be important in a relationship are not to him. Mainly sex. We have 2 children together, but they do not know how to act when my husband is home since we are rarely all together. My friend tells me exactly what it is that I want to hear. Texts me throughout the day. Makes me feel special and wanted. I find myself trying to find time so that I can see him. I feel so lost and unsure of what to do. Any advice will be appreciated!

I'll be blunt: if you want to lose everything you have, including your home and kids, then pretend you're single and childless and you may get your wish! Bad idea!!

This is going to seem harsh. But I hope it gets you to think.

First piece of advice is to stop talking to your 'friend'. Being emotionally involved with someone can be seen as an affair. Communicating with him is only clouding your judgment and leading you into making poor choices.

Of course he is telling you what you want to hear and courting you. You are vulnerable and he is looking for someone who isn't available for a relationship to have sex with. He may tell you something different, but in most of these cases the 'other' person disappears when the married person becomes available.

If you don't love your husband and the marriage isn't working out, then leave him. Go through the legal procedure of becoming a single parent. Work through your issues, learn to live on your own, and then if he is still available contact the 'friend' if you still feel the need.

You may think your children are too young to know what is going on, but they aren't. If you start having an affair, they will know it. They may even be confused if they hear you talking to the 'friend' in a way they would expect a daddy and mommy to talk. I lived through it as a child so I am speaking from experience.

Stop thinking like a character in a Romance novel/movie and look at reality.

Having an affair could endanger your health. You don't know if he is sleeping with other women besides you and you have no right to ask him to be faithful.

If you become pregnant, either your husband will know immediately that you were unfaithful or, if you have sex with both of them in a close time frame, you will need a DNA test to determine the father. No form of birth control short of removal of your reproductive organs is 100% effective. In some places, children born in a marriage are considered the husband's even if he is not the biological father.

You would be lying to your husband. Breaking the vows you took when you married. Sneaking around and probably pulling innocent bystanders into your intrigue. You would be damaging your self-esteem, self-respect, image in your community, etc. People find out and they talk.

You say there are things missing in your life. An affair is not how you fill the gaps. It is how you create new ones. What are some positive ways you can think of to make your life better?

Have you tried talking to your husband? Looking into Marriage Counseling? Anything other than an affair?

I find it odd that your children 'don't know how to act' when he is there. I just don't get it. A lot of 'how to act' comes from each parent being GLAD to see the spouse when they do see each other, and the children pick up on that, running to hug and tell stories and be told stories. Just how much are you apart?
I also find it odd that you don't mention what an affair will do to them. I assume that both are under 7? Won't they now miss both of you even more? Don't they deserve time from BOTH of you? You both have obligations as parents that transcend making money.