Girlfriend said something that bothers me
We have been dating almost a year now. When we first started dating, she admitted that she had a crush on me years ago because I never chased her around (like most guys do).
I have dated a decent amount of people, but this is my first proper relationship (not long distance, longer than a few months, etc.) We were laying in bed and she told me that girls should always date a step down so that the guy appreciates her. In almost a year, I never thought of myself as a step down looks wise. I have even dated girls who by conventional standards are hotter than she is. Granted, I'm not Johnny Depp, but I have never thought of any girl being "out of my league", unless they own their own jet or something.
What bothers me isn't that I think I'm less attractive, it's that she thinks I am. I have seen pictures of some of her exes and I'm better looking than they are (I'm not conceited, I promise). She also rummages through my cell phone all the time (I have nothing to hide, but sometimes I don't let her look through it based on principle). She has accused me of being a flirt, but then encourages me to flirt in front of her because she doesn't want me hiding anything. I don't even flirt, I'm friendly, that's it. This relationship is so strange, one day she will say I'm not being romantic enough, another day she will say I'm not being mean enough and other days she will accuse me of being insensitive (when I tease her). She has serious anxiety issues (crying when on the spot, getting stressed out over very minor things like being out of cat food) and I feel like I have to walk on egg shells so that she doesn't flip out. When we do argue (when I can't take it anymore), she shuts down and gives up.
She still talks to her most recent ex (admittedly only a few times in this past year) and I simply tell her that I don't like it, but I trust her. She has accused me of having crushes on work friends (whom she has met twice and is married and 10 years my senior). She goes out with her friends every once in a while and disappears until 3 or 4 in the morning and then calls me (waking me up) to pick her up (which I sometimes don't because I'm so disgusted by this behavior). I told her she is testing my trust too much and she accuses me of being controlling even though I feel like she is the controlling one.
I broke up with her once over all this and she showed up at my house the next night with pre-made dinner and asked if we could just forget about everything and move on. I agreed, but the problems aren't changing.
I know this relationship needs to end, but can someone tell me what this girl's deal is. Last night she told me she wants to have my children (she talks about "our" future a lot), but she is not acting like wife material in my eyes. I have tried talking to her as an adult on several occasions. I've said that she seems like she needs to sow her oats a bit more and I'm OK with that, just don't drag me along for the ride. She responded by telling me I'm insecure. She's not all bad. She has a very big heart and honestly is one of the funniest people I have ever met, but I've already partied enough in my life. I've been unattached throughout my early twenties. I have seen the bars, clubs, drugs, parties and random hook ups enough for a lifetime. She seems to have always had a boyfriend and I fear that they have allowed her to become this half in half out girlfriend (committed, but acting single sometimes). Do I need to relax, or is she a nut?
