I need a man’s opinion on this. Am I overreacting? Should I get over it and move on o
WARNING- disturbing content.
My boyfriend, let's call him Stan- 26 years old, has a friend named Aaron- 26 years old. They have known each other for about 10 years now. Stan and I have a two-year-old son together and Aaron and his girlfriend also have a two-year-old son together. Aaron's girlfriend has a daughter from her previous relationship who is about 6 years old now.
Stan and Aaron have always been obnoxious together. They think it's funny to push each other's boundaries by making inappropriate comments, yell very loud and ridiculous things randomly, etc. They act the way you would expect high school boys to act, not grown adults...
Anyway, I have never had a problem with Aaron before. In fact, we got along just fine aside from when Stan and Aaron would act up together. However, as soon as we each had our sons, Aaron decided to push the boundaries to the limit by making gestures and comments towards his children.
At the hospital after Aaron's son was born, he was showing him off to Stan, me, and our newborn. Aaron decided to pretend like he was sucking his son's private parts off and saying "I'm just going to suck off Jergson" or some stupid crap like that. (Jergson is a joke between Stan and Aaron) He leaned in yet was still a decent distance from his son's private parts which were, thankfully, covered by a diaper. Aaron moved his head back and forth as if he were giving his son a bj. It was strange enough behavior to question him but not necessarily threatening enough to report him... I was instantly uncomfortable and wanted to leave. I mentioned how strange and unusual that was to Stan when we left but he got mad at me for "overreacting" and brushed it off as if it were nothing. I decided maybe it was just an awkward sense of humor and as long as nothing like that happened again, it will probably be fine.
So! We all decided to meet up for lunch one day. It was Stan and I, Aaron and his girlfriend and Aaron's girlfriend's daughter who was about 4 at the time. After our food came out, Aaron's girlfriend's daughter reached over to grab something off Aaron's plate and he instantly said (very loudly), "touch my food and I'll touch your tits" to this little girl. Aaron's girlfriend did not do a thing!!
This was the last straw for me. I told Stan that I did not want them in our lives anymore. I was so uncomfortable about the situation. Stan got furious with me and told me I was being ridiculous. He said he knows how Aaron is, he claims to know who Aaron is, and he knows he is not a child molester. He said he was simply pushing the boundaries again. I told him that no normal person makes comments or gestures like that! Therefore, Stan, our son, and I did not have anything to do with these people for a very long time. Aaron got incredibly offended that I would think that he might have actually meant what he said and did. He said if he would have known that I would have reacted the way that I did, he would have never said or done it. To me, that is not the point. Even the fact that it crossed his mind was disturbing enough to me.
Stan has managed to remain friends with Aaron through all of this. He stopped being friends with him for about a year and then they started talking to each other again and would hang out once in a while. I was not okay with it, but Stan did not care what I thought anymore. He said that I kept him away from his friend for too long. He said that Aaron did not mean anything by it and that I needed to get over it.
It has been two years now since the incidence and Stan keeps trying to get me to be accepting of them again. The way I look at it is, no one in their right mind would make comments like that about children. Not even as a joke…
Now, I understand that females might react much differently than men might about certain things. That’s why I am wanting grown adult male opinions over this matter. I want to know if it should be a concern of mine for a grown adult who has children to make inappropriate comments about his children or if it’s something I should try to get over.
I have even suggested to Stan that at this point, I don’t care if he wants to surround himself with negative people, I just don’t want our son or myself around them. I got so tired of fighting with him over this situation that I am trying to negotiate with him.
Am I overreacting or does this give you a weird vibe as well?