How do I reconnect with a old friend
Okay. This is a complicated one so hang on.. I used to talk to a girl who was everything to me. Flawless and in my eyes no matter what. We talked over text and Facebook for a while, and in my eyes I think we were really close, like we really had something. I never knew for sure though as we never talked about a relationship I wanted take things slow to avoid messing things up. Now, we spoke face to face maybe once or twice for various reasons, I tried to have talks with her alone outside of school but never spoke in school as I thought it would turn into drama when people saw me, a not so cool guy, and her, IMO the prettiest girl in the school. I'm sure others would agree. Often though she would decline my proposal to hangout out an talk as she always said she was cleaning house or what not. This is where I start to wonder if she really does like me or not. But that's not it.
So I would regularly watch her Facebook page because she told me before about he abusive boyfriends and people trying to manipulate her (she dated much older people and that was concerning too) and I wanted to be aware if that ever happened so I could essentially be her knight in shining armor and help her in that moment. We lived really close at the time so I could be there any second. Understandably she did not like my stalker attitude and thus we began talking less as she avoided me. This is not the only time I technically stalked her. Well talk more about that in a minute.
So, as I figured, people found out I liked her and we were talking and they started getting involved in trying to ruin things between us. Then one day somebody hinted to me that she might be pregnant and I was really concerned as we were only in 9th grade and I knew she didn't have a boyfriend and (with the track record of guys she's been with) that she would probably be tackling this all on her own. I was really worried for her and I wanted to know if it was true. So I asked a good friend of mine who doesn't happen to be the smartest with words, if he could go try to figure out the answer discreetly without making a big deal out of it. He did not get the memo I guess because he went up to her and basically said I think she's pregnant. Even though I did, I hadn't concluded that as I was trying to get the answer, not spread a rumor. She told him no but I thought she was really hiding the truth to avoid being made fun of. So after nearly being banished from speaking to her forever, I went home and tried to talk it out with another friend on the phone. I explained to him how concerned I was and that I wanted to know if it was true. Was she really pregnant. So him being a stupid a-hole called her up and essentially said the same thing my first friend said. She got mad and called me in a angry phone call telling me I'm an *** for spreading this rumor about her and that "maybe she was getting a little fat but I didn't have to go talking crap about her because of it". And everything went downhill from there. She told me to never speak to her again and that she was done knowing me.
I was hurt but I respected her wishes to leave her alone and haven't tried to talk to her since. It's been almost 4 years now.
Well about 2 years ago her brother died in a terrible accident when he was hit by a semi. I knew him slightly and would consider us friends. When he died she still had a boyfriend of a year of so and so I figured it wasn't my place to talk to her. Despite the circumstances I never tried to talk to her other than a small word of "I'm sorry for your loss." Nothing more. I've always wished her a happy birthday and a simple happy holidays, etc, (and she would always respond politely) but I never tried to spark up a conversation again as I just don't know how anymore. I'm not even sure if she would want to talk to me anymore. That's why I'm here. Oh, and on the earlier note and continuing to stalk her. I followed her on twitter after her brothers death as I wanted to know how she was doing and be aware if she ever felt suicidal or what not so I could help her. Other than that I leave her alone. She's been single for a while now and quite honestly talks a lot about being depressed and all on her twitter. I want to be the one to help her threw these times and hopefully develop a serious relationship with her. It's honestly all I want but I feel like in her eyes I'm not much of anything anymore.
We are nearing graduation and who knows where she'll take off to after that, I don't want to lose her as she's everything to me but I'm so at a loss for words when it comes to talking to her. I just don't know what to do... Please help.