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-   -   Need help to correct my english (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=848130)

  • May 18, 2021, 07:58 PM
    yazan4445
    Need help to correct my english
    Hello everyone

    I have just started working at a Turkish international school, and i need an advice to correct this letter i wrote. since i am new i do not want to make mistakes, though its common because here in Turkey, we do not study English in an advanced way.

    On to the question: I am trying to explain that this student entered our school but he did not pass any of his courses. I wanted to include that he paid his fees for the school year, and that we offer him a 50% discount because of medical condition that he delivered doctor papers to us. Its just a confirmation letter. I will copy and past what i wrote and i appreciate any help and advice if there should be some changes :)

    This letter is to confirm that Mr Bla Bla Bla, although attended his BA Global Management
    (Marketing) programme in the academic year 2020/21, failed to pass any of his program
    courses.

    We also confirm that Mr Bla paid the full tuition fees of $21,000.00

    Due to his previous medical condition that had an impact on his studies, we would like to offer
    Mr Bla 50% discount for the 2021/2 academic year.

    Thanks in advance everyone
  • Jul 21, 2021, 10:02 AM
    RandomPerson36
    Hi yazan,

    Sorry I'm late to this, but overall your letter sounds good! However, if you want some constructive criticism:

    1. Typically, a formal letter begins with a heading, such as "Dear [X]" or "To Whom It May Concern" followed by a comma (,) and then the body of the letter starts on the next line. It also has an official closing and signature, such as "Sincerely, [X]" so that the reader knows who wrote the letter without having to look at the address.

    2. When you wrote "2021/2" as the academic year, saying "2021/2022" instead might make things clearer as some places I've seen use the slash (/) to represent which semester the year is (i.e., 2021/2 could sometimes mean the second semester or spring of 2021 instead of the year 2022). I'm not sure how schools work in Turkey though so this might just sound nit-picky.

    If you sent the letter as you pasted in this post though I'm sure it was fine as everything makes sense and is clear to the point. Good luck with your new job!

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