Originally Posted by cduncman19
I was going through old e-mails and found this today, from my ex, who is now with the guy she talks about in this e-mail and thought that if anything it could be something for people who are hurting to learn from. Don't wait around for anyone, live your life, and your relationship on your terms, otherwise you will always, always regret not doing so. I know i do, to the point it's pretty tough to bear, but if someone wants to be with you, they will, and if they don't, they won't. Words are just that, words, nothing more.
i understand if you have to start loving someone else, but just so you
know, it wont happen to me. this stpuid relationship i have will
probably last until i can't handle it anymore and had some fun and
moved on. the truth is, when you gave me the week ultimatum and left
living with you and being with you as the option i felt two things. i
felt excitement and that i really wanted that, and then i started to
feel scared. like im giving up my whole life, my friends, my family for
this and it would just be me and you. and what happens if me and you
fight, who do i have to turn to? or if you go out of town on business,
who is going to be there? im not scared about it jus tbeing me and you
every second of the day, i love that, and i obviously did everything i
could and gave up a lot in the beginning for it to be me and you. it
also has bugged me for a long time that you would always say how close
you were to brookes family, how you basically lived out there and blah
blah. when i get married i want that with my family and friends. i know
they are messed up sometimes, and sometimes i dont like them, but at
times i love them and they will always mean the world to me. you dont
like them, and i dont blame you, but that is very hard on me. i feel
like i can't fully be happy and commit to something if my life isn't
fully complete. i want you to be a part of my family and friends, i
want my life to be a big circle of people, with you as the most
important. christopher, i know what we feel is real, but is it real to
be so upset, is it real and right to give up everything for each other?
i want to do it so badly, but simply put the case here is my heart and
head telling me two different things. my head is saying this shouldn't
be this hard, but my heart is wanting to drive up there right now and
just lay and spend every second with you. this is why im lost, this is
why i cry, this is why i say move here. move here please, help me
become un-lost, help me find my way, help me understand that it will be
okay. i can't just do that overnight, it takes time, but if you want
me, dont you want all of me?