My boyfriend and I are almost complete opposites... but the things he lacks I have and vice versa. So how do I know if he really loves me? Im touchy lovey dovey and he's help in every way I can and be there when I need be.
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My boyfriend and I are almost complete opposites... but the things he lacks I have and vice versa. So how do I know if he really loves me? Im touchy lovey dovey and he's help in every way I can and be there when I need be.
There's an old saying, "Opposites attract." My husband and I are almost complete opposites and have had to compromise on a number of things. That's what good communication is all about. Are you willing to compromise -- for instance, to be less lovey dovey and not expect the same from him?
I try.. for instance I was afraid to enter this relationship because I was in a bad one before... but he was so kind and waited for me to be comfortable. So I quit my job and moved an hour and a half to be with him. After I found another job of course.
So what exactly is your concern? You moved to be with him, perhaps you should have thought about whether he really loves you before you moved.
Has he told you he loves you, is there any reason you doubt it, other than he is not like you?
He has told me he loved me. On his own. I didn't have to say it first... but the differences are my main concerns. Im a country girl to the core. I work in a factory and love the farm work. He works in an office on a computer... I worry Im not hi type. Ive been lied before. The moving doesn't make a huge difference because my brother works in the area and stays frequently.
Divide a page in half vertically and write down your and his strengths on one side and weaknesses on the other. For instance, my husband hates paying the bills, so I do that. I hate grocery shopping, so he does that. He plants the garden and leaves. I'm the one who happily weeds and waters. He returns for the harvest. See what I mean? How do the two of you overlap, and whose strength is the other's weakness (and vice versa)?
Communicating is everything.
I think the problem is you feeling you don't measure up.
Have you voiced these concerns with him?
How old are the two of you?
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I'm 23. He's 29. He's told me I need to quit being so insecure. We've not actually discussed it
Why does he think you are insecure?Quote:
Originally Posted by cwilliams1990
I left a seven year and very controlling and mentally abusive relationship. And I'm... Recovering. Its been over a year. He's my first relationship since and I'm self conscious.
First of all, kudos to you for leaving your past relationship. It does take a lot of strength to move past it. But you've already taken many steps forward, but there are still more to come.
Be patient with yourself. One year is not a long time to help you recover from such a long term relationship. Furthermore, there may be parts of the past relationship that will stick with you for a long time. So I recommend a few things going forward.
1) Be more patient with yourself. It is going to take time to gain strength.
2) Acceptance. Accept that the past is the past. The new boyfriend is a completely different person. Accept that you need more time to recover from the past.
3) You can't rush the recovery. It will take as long as it takes. One way to help yourself speed up the recover is to continue to focus on being a good person. Be a good person to yourself and those around you. The more good you spread, the better you will feel about yourself.
4) If you want, you can read some self-help books to help boost your self-esteem. Or maybe you want to do some volunteering. Maybe it is picking up a sport. Work on your cooking skills. Whatever it is, I suggest you find something positive that will help you boost your confidence.
Well that's the thing. Perhaps you are not quite ready for a relationship. It takes a while.Quote:
Originally Posted by cwilliams1990
Relax and enjoy this one. Get to know each other. Don't over think. Just take your time, one day at a time.
Thank you. Your input really helps me out. Im trying to resolve some of my "issues".
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