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-   -   First Boyfriend? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=498784)

  • Aug 16, 2010, 01:02 PM
    deronette97
    First Boyfriend?
    OK, yesterday I told him that I liked him but immediately he asked me if I really wanted to do this. And I just told him I didn't want to make a mistake you know? He told me that he knows and the asked yes or no? So I said yes because I didn't know what else to say
    But know I regret even telling him that I liked him because I don't know if he likes me and we don't really know each other I promised myself at 18 when I was going to start but I wasn't expecting him to ask me if I wanted to go out with him plus I'm a Christian and I feel guilty because my parents don't know and if they did they would kill me and I lied to myself because I told myself 18. Should I just tell him I can't do it the next time I see him? Even if its only been a week? I don't feel ready for this plus I just want to honor God until the day I die, but I can't really tell if God is telling me what to do or my mind is. Please help!
  • Aug 16, 2010, 01:13 PM
    Kitkat22

    Are you 18? How serious is this ? Denorette in one of your other threads it says you are 11. Do not get involved with a guy until you are older.Come back and tell us.
  • Aug 16, 2010, 02:13 PM
    Devorameira

    Don't ever let a guy pressure you... they'll take advantage of you every time if you let them.

    Explain to your boyfriend how you're feeling and if he doesn't understand and accept it and still tries to push you into it - DUMP HIM... because he's a jerk!

    Avoid being alone with him.

    Never let him get any further than you are comfortable with. If you do not want him to touch you, it's up to you to speak up and tell him NO. If he doesn't respect your decision, then DUMP HIM! Don't let him try to put you on a guilt trip just so he can get what he wants.

    If he says you have to have sex in order to have a relationship, DUMP HIM.

    Take pride in yourself and your religion and don't let anyone bully you into doing anything you know is not right for you!
  • Aug 16, 2010, 02:35 PM
    Kitkat22

    You are way to young for dating, let alone sex. You are 11 years old. Leave the guy alone.
  • Aug 16, 2010, 02:37 PM
    Homegirl 50

    If you feel uncomfortable with this boy don't go out with him.
    No boy should force you to do anything you don't want to do.

    You tell him you don't want to do it and you might do well to just stay away from him.
    How old are you?
  • Aug 16, 2010, 02:38 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    If you feel uncomfortable with this boy don't go out with him.
    No boy should force you to do anything you don't want to do.

    You tell him you don't want to do it and you might do well to just stay away from him.
    How old are you?

    Her other thread says she's 11.
  • Aug 16, 2010, 02:43 PM
    Homegirl 50

    Then you need to playing with your friends and not sneaking around with some boy trying to get in your pants, cause that is what he is doing.
    How old is this boy?
  • Aug 16, 2010, 03:39 PM
    deronette97

    No no no, your getting this all wrong. It has nothing to do with sex, I mean when he asked me if I really wanted to do this he meant if I really wanted to date him and Im not the regular 11 yr old you see everyday because I hang with the teenagers mostly so I'm pretty mature for my age.
  • Aug 16, 2010, 03:50 PM
    Homegirl 50

    How old is this boy? Is he a teenager?
    At 11 your are too young to be gating.
  • Aug 16, 2010, 03:58 PM
    deronette97

    He's 13 only a 2 year difference
  • Aug 16, 2010, 04:06 PM
    Homegirl 50

    You both are too young to be dating. 13 is 2 years older but his mind and hormones is probably on a different plain. I think you need to stay away from this boy.

    If you don't want to don't. You have a choice, exercise it. Listen to what your head is telling you.
  • Aug 16, 2010, 05:26 PM
    talaniman

    You don't have to suffer through this alone. Tell your mom that a boy likes you and wants to date, and she can guide you personally in the right direction. Pretty much like the ladies here.
  • Aug 16, 2010, 06:09 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    You don't have to suffer thru this alone. Tell your mom that a boy likes you and wants to date, and she can guide you personally in the right direction. Pretty much like the ladies here.

    Guys I think OP is afraid to talk with her mother. She has a step dad who beats her. Op listen in two years you'll thirteen. Don't get involved with this boy. You say you wan to do what you know God wants you to do? God wants you to be a child and act like a child. He also wants you to keep yourself out of trouble.

    I'll tell you as I would a child of mine, stay away from the boy, he is a little too old and you are too young. Stay a nice kid and in time you will meet the right one.
  • Aug 17, 2010, 08:16 AM
    talaniman

    Quote:

    deronette97 agrees : oh no I can't she would kill me, and me and the boy are alredy dating but I want to call it off because I don't feel rite even though it hasn't even been a month yet.
    What is it that doesn't feel right to you?

    Given your age, I think the term dating doesn't apply since I doubt you are going anywhere together without your parents approving, and you say there is no sex, so unless you are sneaking around to be together, then my idea is your boyfriend /girlfriend just at school and maybe sitting together at lunch, because you like each other. If I am wrong let me know, and please explain what you think that's wrong about "dating" this guy?
  • Aug 17, 2010, 02:16 PM
    deronette97

    Well yeah its kind of like the school thing, except he's from church so both my parents no him and his brothers. And I don't feel right because we only see each other on Sundays and I can't call his house because that would cause a BIG problem. And Since he doesn't have his cell and he doesn't know my email there's no way it could work and I don't want to constantly tell him I've been busy (even though, unfortunately, I have and will probably always be) and I don't know if You are a religious person but I feel like I missed what God was trying to tell me, I prayed to God about him, but ended up switching his words with my head. The reason I prayed about him was because, I felt like I really liked him because he was different. He never acted rude to me, he was always nice and respectful to me. But now after we started dating, I guess God gave me this feeling that I was doing the wrong thing. So now I don't know how to tell him I want to call it off.
  • Aug 17, 2010, 02:18 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by deronette97 View Post
    Well yeah its kinda like the school thing, except he's from church so both my parents no him nd his brothers. nd I dont feel right because we only see eachother on Sundays and and I can't call his house because that wud cause a BIG problem. nd Since he doesnt have his cell and he doesnt know my email theres no way it could work nd I dont want to constantly tell him I've been busy (even though, unfortunately, I have and will probably always be) nd I dont know if You are a religious person but I feel like I missed what God was trying to tell me, I prayed to God about him, but ended up switching his words with my head. The reason I prayed about him was because, I felt like I really liked him because he was different. He never acted rude to me, he was always nice and respectful to me. But now after we started dating, I guess God gave me this feeling that I was doing the wrong thing. So now I dont know how to tell him I want to call it off.





    Tell him in no uncertain terms, that you are way too young and you do not want to get into trouble. Tell him the truth.
  • Aug 17, 2010, 02:23 PM
    talaniman

    What you seek is called being honest with your friend. Your misgiving have to do with being in an awkward situation, that you are not comfortable with.

    I imagine it's the confusion caused by intense feelings for another, and that's okay, and normal even. There is no shame at all in having the feelings, and you will likely have them again for others, but you recognize you are not comfortable with acting on them in the way you have, and that's great, so just be honest with him, as you have been with yourself.

    I admire your maturity on these matters.
  • Aug 17, 2010, 02:40 PM
    deronette97

    OK I'll do it the earliest I can, and thanks
  • Aug 17, 2010, 03:33 PM
    Homegirl 50

    You are a smart young lady to recognize that you are not ready for this.
    Be honest about it to him, tell him you are not ready and if he is as nice as you say, he will accept that and there will be no hard feelings or pressure.
    You are going to be OK.
    I wish you well
  • Aug 17, 2010, 07:48 PM
    Kitkat22

    Let us know how you're doing, leave the boy alone. You said your step dad has beaten you, so don't do anything that will lead him to think he has a reason.

    Remember what we told you about getting help if your step dad beats you. YOU DO NOT NEED A BOYFRIEND AT 11 years old.

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