Is it considered cheating if we were technically broken up?
I have been with my boyfriend for about a year. We have had many drunken fights that have lead to him breaking up with me. Because of this I have felt that he never really loved me. After one of these break ups, I ended up sleeping with a mutual friend the next night, though I am closer to this friend then he is. I wanted to fill a void, drunk, but still was very much in love with my "ex". We ended up getting back together after one month (which in that time frame he slept with two other girls), but he continued to say that I cheated on him. Then, a few weeks later we got into another fight. I was really drunk, he was angry because I wasn't paying him a lot of attention, so he ended up leaving where we were at. Again, drunk and feeling rejected, I assumed that he wanted to end things, so I said it was over, and later that night I made out with another guy.
We are trying to work things out, I do love him very much and hate the fact that I hurt him. He says that I have cheated on him twice, which bothers me because I think of cheating as something that you do while in a relationship, and both times I really felt that it was over and, though not good, sought out other people to make me feel better. Is it cheating? And how to I try to explain to him that I don't believe I did cheat, not to make myself look better, but to get him to understand that I do love him and only have wanted to be with him?
Comment on ken007nielsen's post
For the first situation, he said that he didn't want to be with me, it wasn't going to work, so I said fine its over, and the next day I slept with someone. The second time, after he left we texted on the phone, I said it was over cause I felt that he didn't want to really be with me, so yes both times we had said it was over. We have been off and on for a year.
Comment on summer_girl's post
Yea, I think that's what he's getting out too, and I have realized that drinking so much has not done me any favors. But I also felt rejected, and I wanted him to show me that he does want to be with me. So in a way, he breaks up with me every time there is a problem, and then I started seeking out others every time we break up. We have talked about counseling. Thanks for your advise!