I met this guy and we really hit it off well. I go to college full time and he goes to college part time because he works. We live 7 hrs away from each other. I told my mom I liked him and she didn't like me talking with him a lot. I am 21 and he is 29. I am white and he is Brazilian. She told me I needed to.tell my father when.he was going through.a bad time with.my.brother or if I talked with him I would.get disowned. So I told her I.chose her which I did but I really missed him and talked.with him online . Summer came and I visited.him and would hang out and sleep over his house. One day family found out I lied.to them for three months. Family made me choose boyfriend or them. I chose my family but I truly miss my.boyfriend. He works at a school as.a computer technician and is going to college to be a networking administrator. My parents don't think he is good enough for me. Is there any way I can fix this and get my.boyfriend back?

What's with all the (.) all over your post. A (.) is a period and ends a sentence. It's not just for decoration! Your post is really hard to read because of all the (.) in it. For example;

Quote:

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She told me I needed to.tell my father when.he was going through.a bad time with.my.brother

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That reads as.

She told me I need to. (end sentence)
(new sentence) tell my father when. (end sentence)
(new sentence) he was going through. (end sentence)
(new sentence) a bad time with. (end sentence)
(new sentence) my. (end sentence)
(new sentence) brother. (end sentence)

Please, take some time to write your posts. You're in college, you should know what a period is used for.

Having said that, you're 21. Who you choose to date is up to you. Is this guy worth possibly losing your family over?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alty

What's with all the (.) all over your post. A (.) is a period and ends a sentence. It's not just for decoration! Your post is really hard to read because of all the (.) in it. For example;



That reads as.

She told me I need to. (end sentence)
(new sentence) tell my father when. (end sentence)
(new sentence) he was going through. (end sentence)
(new sentence) a bad time with. (end sentence)
(new sentence) my. (end sentence)
(new sentence) brother. (end sentence)

Please, take some time to write your posts. You're in college, you should know what a period is used for.

Having said that, you're 21. Who you choose to date is up to you. Is this guy worth possibly losing your family over?

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First off I know what a sentence is and I know that a period ends it. I am using my phone and my keyboard is small. Therefore when I hit ky space bar sometimes I hit the period key which is exactly to the right of it. I am tired it is past midnight where I am and didn't feel like correcting my post. I believe if I was able to date him he would be very important. However I was not sure if he was worth losing my family over; that is why I chose my family. I want to know if there is a way to be able to date my ex again.

*my

Quote:

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Originally Posted by butterfli2311

First off I know what a sentence is and I know that a period ends it. I am using my phone and my keyboard is small. Therefore when I hit ky space bar sometimes I hit the period key which is exactly to the right of it. I am tired it is past midnight where I am and didn't feel like correcting my post. I believe if I was able to date him he would be very important. However I was not sure if he was worth losing my family over; that is why I chose my family. I want to know if there is a way to be able to date my ex again.

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It sounds like your parents are very strict, and very adamant that they don't want this man in your life. Again, you're not a child, you're an adult, you can date whomever you want.

If your parents are willing to disown you for dating someone they don't approve of, then maybe they're not worth holding onto. Will anyone ever be good enough? Do they feel they have the right to choose for you?

Are you beholden to your family financially while in college?
Because otherwise I can't imagine a 21 year old bowing to pressure like this, and it just doesn't sound like you are in love enough to stand up to them. Millions of young people stand up to parents each year for love. Your father sounds much too strict. Maybe that's why your brother is having so many problems.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by joypulv

Are you beholden to your family financially while in college?
Because otherwise I can't imagine a 21 year old bowing to pressure like this, and it just doesn't sound like you are in love enough to stand up to them. Millions of young people stand up to parents each year for love. Your father sounds much too strict. Maybe that's why your brother is having so many problems.

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I just want to point out that the parents may be more strict because of problems with the brother or events from the past.

Butterfli, as a parent, I am concerned about a daughter who lies about her whereabouts as well as who she is seeing. This man lives seven hours away which means that spending time with him was more than a day trip. Do you live in your parents' home? Where did your parents think you were? Are your parents worried that you might follow in your brother's footsteps? Are they wanting you to spend more time on studies than on romantic relationships?

I will say that I don't know if your family is over-reacting, harsh, strict or not because I don't know what you told them about him. I don't know if you are leaving details out to make him look better or if you are enhancing others to make your family look worse. I don't know if there is something in your past that is causing them to react the way they are or if they are concerned about your future.

I do know that lying about the relationship and where you are isn't going to help them feel better about your ability to make choices about your life. If you are going to make adult decisions, then stand by them.

I am curious as to how you met this man if he lives seven hours away. Do you go to college in his city?

How are you dating this guy if he lives so far away? Is your seeing him interfering with your education?
At 21 you are old enough to make your own decisions but on some level you agreed with your parents, maybe that was a good choice.