Thank you for taking time to read my story. I've worked my entire life and at times even been considered a workaholic. Eight months ago I quit my job for reasons I myself am not entirely clear when I look back. I had over the course of 2019 convinced myself that I hated my job and while there were elements about it I didn’t like or agree with, I’m not sure that warranted quitting now that I look back. I do think I had got into a rut and maybe didn’t understand the complexity of that rut and decided to try something else despite having nothing else planned. I think my boss might have caught onto something that even I was unable to see as he asked me if I was having a mid life crisis after I told him I was quitting. I told him no but I now wonder if I was having one or if something else is going on.

As I type this, I have spent most of the last 8 months sitting on my couch watching more television than anytime in my life. I feel like a machine that has just shut off completely. I haven’t even so much as tried to look for another job and my only goal each day is to think about what I’m making for dinner later. I’m up to 3 or 4 in the morning sometimes even to day break or later and sleep during the day, a complete reversal of my sleep schedule from when I was working. During waking hours, literally hours will go by and I lose all sense of time before I notice how late in the day it is. At the end of April, I had a “moment of clarity” where it dawned on me that I haven’t done anything for 4 months and I really didn’t notice those 4 months pass by. I haven’t done much since then, although I do seem to be more aware that I’m just wasting away on my couch. Over the last month, I’ve got what I would call “bursts of confidence” and I feel really good for a day or two. I don’t do anything to act on that but at least I feel better as opposed to just feeling nothing.

Has anybody else ever experienced anything like this or know why I’ve gone from a functioning adult with goals and a work ethic to just unmotivated and disconnected? Have I experienced some sort of mental breakdown? Can anybody relate this behavior?

Sometimes our funks are MEDICALLY related and need to be checked and addressed if that is the case, and not that unusual as we age, so let me ask your age and a bit of background on your last year or so. Any life changing traumas or events over the last year or major changes? Had a check up, or discussed this with your family doctor?

I've sort of been there before and the journey to discovery and recovery usually starts with a check up and go from there. The last thing you want is isolation and no answers, so be as honest with your doctor as you have been here...tell him everything.

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so let me ask your age and a bit of background on your last year or so. Any life changing traumas or events over the last year or major changes? Had a check up, or discussed this with your family doctor?

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Thank you for your reply.

I'm 47 years old and I haven't really had any life changing traumas or any major changes in my life. I have not had a check up or visited a doctor because as strange as this sounds I don't think I realized what I've even done until my "clarity" or "confidence" started to come back. I'm not even sure how to describe it other than I just turned off like a car and only recently turned back on to realize the engine is running but the car is still in park.

Maybe you can fill in a few gaps. How old are you? Family? Anything or any events outside of what you described that could be contributing? Religious beliefs?

I've not been through exactly what you are describing, but I did go through an experience very close to it. I hit a wall of depression that was very tough. I didn't quite my job largely because I felt it was helping me to hold on, but it was a decidedly unpleasant year or two in my life.