My ex-girlfriend died 2 weeks ago. She was killed in a car accident and my daughter was in the accident also. Nobody even contacted me, and her maternal grandmother took her home from the hospital. She has had her ever since, and every time I try to work out something to be able to see her, she gives an excuse, and now they have sent me papers trying to have me sign away my parental rights.

I live in MO. We were never married. My daughter lived with her mother and I had her 2-3 days every week. I'm on parole, and currently unemployed, and I know they will try to use this against me. I want to go get my daughter from their house, and the reason I haven't so far is I didn't want to traumatize her any more than she already has been over her mothers death. But surely if I show up, there will be a confrontation, possibly police, and I don't want to do that to my daughter. I don't have money to hire a lawyer, so I need to know what I can do.
I was told since we were never married that I don't really have custody of her, but neither do they, so can I legally go take my daughter from them? I live with my parents, and she will have a roof over her head and be taken care of, it's not as if I am unfit.
I have papers to fill out to file for custody on my own, but I'm not exactly sure who to put as the respondent, since I am not filing against anyone. Can you please help me? I am desperate to get my daughter back.

Did you pay or was suppose to pay child support? Were you determined to be the legal father by a court?

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Originally Posted by Dsunn

But surely if I show up, there will be a confrontation, possibly police, and I don't want to do that to my daughter........ Can you please help me? I am desperate to get my daughter back.

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Hello D:

IF you are on the birth certificate, YOU are the only one who has LEGAL custody of your daughter. The grandparents do NOT. Yes, I agree. The police may be involved. That's because YOU should call them to escort you, and keep the peace, when you assert your parental rights, and pick up your daughter.

Being on parole or not working has NOTHING to do with your parental rights at THIS stage. Of course, once you HAVE your daughter, and are unable to provide for her, her grandparents certainly COULD win custody... But, that involves going to court. It doesn't mean they can simply keep her.

excon

She was on assistance, and my daughter is covered by medicaid. I made payments directly to her, they were not court ordered. There is no court order for anything at all, but I am her father, I am on the birth certificate also.

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Originally Posted by Dsunn

I am her father, I am on the birth certificate also.

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Hello again, D:

You don't need to have asserted your parental rights in court in order to HAVE them. You're on the birth certificate. That is the only proof you need. The cops WILL help you get your daughter. In fact, the grandparents CAN be charged with kidnapping...

Call the cops... This time, they're on YOUR side.

excon

One problem might be I might possibly have a warrant for something old. I am working on getting it taken care of, but in the meantime I still want my daughter. If I call the police, will they just arrest me and leave her in their custody?

Or would they allow my mother or sister to take her if I have them with me and that's my wishes? Also, when they do sue for custody, and I have no lawyer, will they automatically win. I can't afford a lawyer at all.

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Originally Posted by Dsunn

If I call the police, will they just arrest me and leave her in their custody?

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Hello again, D:

I think they will. Take care of the warrant first.

excon

Get some money together. Take care of the warrant and send a registered letter to the grandparents to return your daughter right away.

State in the letter they have 24 hrs to return her or your coming there with the police. Also make copies to keep with you. If they refuse to respond then go there with the police. And yes address the warrant issue beforehand.

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Originally Posted by Dsunn

Or would they allow my mother or sister to take her if I have them with me and that's my wishes? Also, when they do sue for custody, and I have no lawyer, will they automatically win. I can't afford a lawyer at all.

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Hello D:

Custody issues will be handled by the court - not the cops. If makes NO sense to go to court to ask that your parents take custody while you deal with your legal problems. Let the mothers parents keep the child until you're ready to provide.

You are the father... If they can't prove you're unfit to parent their grandchild, they WON'T win, I don't care how many lawyers they have and you don't.

excon