This is just a generic question..

Last evening I asked my mum if she can lend me a couple of thousands for a few months till I can pay her back myself… I know I will be able to pay her back for sure in a few months.
She told me to ask my mother in law.

I was taken aback abit not that I expect my mum to always help but I felt she just shoved me off… am I being silly ?

Ok my mother helped us buy a car and my mother in law has paid for a few things for us too.

I don't know what you want us to say Krs. This seems to be a family issue with maybe a few undercurrents which we know nothing about.

Tick

I was just wondering whether I'm being sensitive with my mother's answer.. telling me to ask my mother in law! I don't think there are any undercurrent issues here

I just think as her daughter, I would obviously go to my mum FIRST and not my mother in law to ask for money! My mum has lent us money to buy a car and my mother in law has paid for a few flights to go visit her.. maybe I'm sensitive but I thought it was very off for my mother to say that!

You are an adult, since you are married and drive a car. Loans from parents are OK as long as you pay them back. Have you paid them back in the past, or do the loans somehow turn magically into perceived gifts?
Your mother has expenses too.
Plus, you don't say what you need a few thousand for. Perhaps your mum thinks it's something you can save for.

I have always paid her back. Never turned magically into gifts, I'm not selfish and immature like that.

The point is NOT what they are for.. I told my mum what they are for, and that is between us, my point was about her telling me to ask my mother in law.

I have made it a point to never ask my parents for money. They have spent enough raising me, I do not want to burden them any further as an adult, I want them to enjoy their retirement. I fully understand your mother's response - at some point she needs to cut the cord and allow her children to work on their independence.

Yes you are right and I totally understand.. and true sometimes its best not ask family for money.
But I thought I would just ask.. but fine, I won't ask her and nor my mother in law.

I had inherited money when my grand ma passed.. and me and my sibling shared it with our mom, because she was not on the will. I am NOT in any way saying that because of this she HAS to lend me money when I ask. But in this respect I did help her a lot for her to enjoy the life she is living now. But that is beyond the point.

Your mother is not comfortable lending you the money and you put her in an uncomfortable position asking. You should not criticize her or think ill of her for how she handled your question, as you shouldn't have asked.

You mention a couple thousand dollars like it's a cup of sugar. Times are tough and you don't sound like a good credit risk if you've borrowed from family as much as you described. I think she's trying to get you to grow up and cover your own bills. Take it as a hint - bank of mom is closed and she just wants to be your mother now, not your loan shark.

You are not understanding dontknownuthin. I am far from criticizing her. She has every right to say yes or no. I have given her a lot of money of my inhertance and she has lent me whenever I have needed.
I got a big inhertance which I shared with her because times where tough. But arnt so tough now.

You make sound like I have always depended on her, used her like a bank and should be more mature about it.

This was really not the case.

Case closed!!

I would have no way of knowing that you gave her your inhereritance, of course so please don't take offense. You only reference times you've asked for money from others and if you have a mother in law, you're obviously a married adult. I've noticed in other threads you are upset that others don't give you what you want - like friends that don't want to do what you want to do, etc. Possibly the problem is something I once struggled with myself - thinking that others would respond as I expected to my wants and needs. I had to learn the tough lesson to expect nothing from others, not ask for loans, not ask for favors, not read into what others do such as whether they come to a party or send a card for my birthday, and just enjoy people for what they offer and willingly bring into my life. It was one of the more difficult and most healing lessons of my life, so hopefully you'll benefit from it too. Part of it is recognizing that different people will fill different needs for us, and our focus should be on what we can do for them.

I'm not suggesting your selfish or anything like that, just that it sounded from your post like you've borrowed money for some pretty major and basic things, like a car, and maybe the time for doing that has passed. If you want the inheretance back, that's another issue - perhaps you could deduct what your mother has given you in the past from that money, and ask her to make payments on the rest, unless it was a gift. Sounds like you now need the money so if there's a basis for repayment on that money you lent her, that totally changes the story.

I guess my issue is of course is that I don't believe in borrowing money at all if not needed.

You never mentioned that I could tell what the money was for ?

And I guess if you got money that you inherited, you already spent all of that?

Have you paid all of the car loan back or is there still money owed on it?

If you can pay it back in a few months for "sure" why can't you just wait a few months to have the money instead of borrow it now