Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Online Education (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=401)
-   -   Please can you edit this compostion? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=793144)

  • May 29, 2014, 02:23 PM
    johan2009
    Please can you edit this compostion?
    Well as some of you may or may not know. Both Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees both come back at the end of the Freddy vs Jason. When Lori Campbell chops Freddy's head off with Jason's machete that simply slowed Freddy down. But did'nt stop him. Because at the end of the film Jason Voorhees rises up out of the Camp Crystal Lakes' water without Freddy Krueger's head. Here's the funny part if you stayed around the theatres Freddy Krueger winks at the screen which we can just assume will lead into the sequels' beginning. As for the sequal itself, I believe and many others do as that Jason and Freddy may "tagteam" and join forces so truly people "won't be safe awake or asleep." Maybe just Maybe they will tie Michael Myers in so it will be Jason and Freddy vs Michael. That wouldn't be a very long movie considering the fact that Freddy and Jason together would destroy poor old Michael. Michael wouldn't stand a chance. Now remember I'm not an official new line cinema employee I'm just a fan with a lot of "connection".
  • May 29, 2014, 02:24 PM
    Curlyben
    What do YOU think ?
    While we're happy to HELP we wont do all the work for you.
    Show us what you have done and where you are having problems..
  • May 29, 2014, 02:28 PM
    johan2009
    OK, I done this?

    But still there are some word need to eliminate.

    In below what I did until now:

    Well as some of you may or may not know. Both Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees come back at the end of Freddy vs. Jason. When Lori Campbell chops Freddy's head off with Jason's machete, that only slowed Freddy down. However, it did not stop him at the end of the film. Jason Voorhees rises up out of the Camp Crystal Lakes' water without Freddy Krueger's head. Here's the funny part if you stayed around the theatres: Freddy Krueger winks at the screen, which we can assume will lead into the sequels' beginning. Now as for the sequel itself, I believe and many others too, that Jason and Freddy may "tag team" and join forces so true people "won't be safe awake or asleep." Maybe they will tie Michael Myers in so it will be Jason and Freddy vs. Michael. That would not be a very long movie because Freddy and Jason together would destroy poor old Michael. Michael would not stand a chance. Now remember, I am not an official new line cinema employee I am just a fan with a lot of "connections."
  • May 29, 2014, 02:34 PM
    johan2009
    I checked many times. There are many mistakes for example, grammar, writing style, etc.

    But still there are words no make sense. I need help me to delete them.
  • May 29, 2014, 06:03 PM
    Alty
    If we do this work for you, you won't learn how to do it yourself. That's the purpose of homework, to learn.

    Yes, there are many mistakes in what you posted. I'm guessing English isn't your first language based on what you wrote, and the way you write your posts. I would hand it in the way you wrote it so your teacher knows where you're having trouble, and can help so that you learn for future homework assignments.

    For instance, a sentence should always be able to stand on its own. In other words, if you write "I went to the beach today", that tells a story, it needs nothing further. If you write "I went", that's not a complete sentence. It's not telling you anything.

    Look at this from your post.

    Quote:

    Well as some of you may or may not know. Both Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees come back at the end of Freddy vs. Jason. When Lori Campbell chops Freddy's head off with Jason's machete, that only slowed Freddy down.
    "Well as some of you may or may not know". May or may not know what? We don't know, because you haven't told us. It's not a complete sentence.

    You need to re-read grammar, sentence structure, and apply the rules of writing to what you posted.

    Good luck.
  • May 29, 2014, 06:22 PM
    Wondergirl
    "I went" IS a complete sentence since there is a subject and a verb. Remember Julius Caesar's "I came, I saw, I conquered." Alty's right -- "Well as some of you may or may not know" is not a complete sentence. It does not get a period after it because it is a clause that belongs to the next sentence. "Well" is an interrupter and needs a certain punctuation mark after it.

    Yes, the paragraph has many mistakes in it, most of them being incorrect or missing punctuation
  • May 29, 2014, 10:16 PM
    johan2009
    Wait wait!

    I'm did not wrote this sentences. It is editing assignment.

    I show you what I correct. But still there are many mistakes need to find it and correct it.

    So please if you want to help me, just help me.

    It is editing assignment. I did not wrote this terrible sentences.
  • May 30, 2014, 12:05 AM
    J_9
    We would like to help you, but we can't do it for you.

    Yes, there are still many mistakes. Where would you place commas? I see many commas missing.
  • May 30, 2014, 07:25 AM
    johan2009
    Excuse me guys!

    I don't say write my assignment, I asked to help me for I want to know which mistakes you found when you see this composition.

    That's all!

    Give me like a hint for that for example, which mistake you found grammar, commas, what else.

    Do you think I need to eliminate some words or not ?
  • May 30, 2014, 03:32 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by johan2009 View Post
    Excuse me guys!

    I don't say write my assignment, I asked to help me for I want to know which mistakes you found when you see this composition.

    That's all!

    Give me like a hint for that for example, which mistake you found grammar, commas, what else.

    Do you think I need to eliminate some words or not ?

    You're asking us to edit it for you. That's your assignment! We don't do homework on this site. Frankly, we've given you a lot of pointers already, but instead of putting those pointers into practice, you continue to ask us to do your work. That's not going to happen.

    You need to re-evaluate your punctuation, that's the main thing wrong with this paragraph. You need to focus on better sentence structure. We can give you pointers, but that's it.

    In other words, if you're waiting for someone to re-write it for you, you're in the wrong place. That won't happen on this site.

    Good luck.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:00 AM.