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-   -   Long Distance Relationship (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=774288)

  • Nov 7, 2013, 10:25 AM
    tejashree24
    Long Distance Relationship
    Me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship. Though not very long, we stay at Pune and Mumbai. He comes to meet me once or twice every month. I'm studying and he is working, and is trying to settle. We really enjoy each other's company. We are in relationship since last 3 months. Will our relationship work effectively? How long should this LDR be? Do we need to take steps as to stop LDR, and be together? When is the proper time to tell our parents about the relationship? And, how do I put it up in front of them?
  • Nov 7, 2013, 07:11 PM
    jakester
    hi tejashree - I think many of the questions you are asking are nearly impossible to answer because none of us know you or the guy you are in the relationship with.

    That said, here are some practical things you can do. If you value your parents and their opinion, why wouldn't you talk to them and get their advice? Secondly, why not introduce this man to them the next time he visits you? After all, if you think he is a great guy, wouldn't you want your parents' endorsement of him? Getting an honest and objective answer from your parents on his suitability with you would be an important thing.

    LDRs are challenging but they can be good in a certain sense. Because it allows space and time to consider your interactions with each other and how compatible you are. Remember one thing, during your interactions, always pay attention to what people say. People will always tell you the truth about who they are if you listen. I remember when I was talking to a girl long distance before and she told me one time that she could be really mean to people. I didn't press her on it but I took her word for it and over time, I saw that reality played out in her character. And I decided she wasn't for me. So listen to those types of things and make note of them; don't disregard the things people say in the moment because often they are letting you view a window into their soul and that is important.
  • Nov 7, 2013, 07:53 PM
    talaniman
    I think letting your parent know you are seeing someone is a great idea from the start, but 3months is hardly long enough to see how things will work down the road, and its hard to learn someone deeply in so short a time, with such distance between you. Much to soon for major changes in career or life though and I would never advise giving up your studies to be together. The distance may complicate things but if you keep communications going well and don't get carried away by intense feelings you can just see how it goes.

    What's the hurry and with affairs of the heart, best to just go slow, learn your partner, and make good decisions for yourself. Two people can overcome almost any obstacle if they communicate well, and work together.
  • Nov 7, 2013, 10:14 PM
    tejashree24
    Thank you jakester and talaniman.. Your replies are quite helpful. jakester, I will definitely pay good attention to what he talks.
    talaniman- I know it has not been long time, but I can definitely say that yes, I know every thing about him. He's been so true, and there is nothing that he has not told me. He's even told me everything about his family. His uncle and his brother knows about this relationship.
    I agree about the studies stuff you said. I'm not giving up my studies just to be with him. But we do have plans to try to be together once my studies are over.
    Your reply was definitely helpful :)
    Thanks again :)

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