My boyfriend seems so aloof and disconnected but he says he loves me. When we first met he said he was lazy and would never initiate sex or intimacy without the woman doing so. I didn't believe him and the things we did together and thoughts on life in general seemed so right that I thought I could fix it.

He is not comfortable in taking my hand when we go out but seems to enjoy it if I take his, If I don't initiate it he doesn't.

His laziness also gets to me. I'm an independent woman,am financially secure, fit, healthy and not unattractive however I like my man to at least offer to do some little things for me. e.g.. My lawns need a mow (I have a self propelled lawn mower). His comment was "well, I know what you're doing tomorrow... you'll be mowing the lawns (while he's off to bowls). It doesn't make me feel very loved.

He will come up behind me occasionally and give me a hug while I have my hands in the sink but that's about it. We don't live together( he lives about an hour away). I seldom get a phone call except to organise the next weekends outings but I get a text each night to say good night.

I have spoken to him and told him that I need to feel a connection and that I'm not feeling loved and that I wonder if he feels embarrassed to be seen with me. He says he understands and he certainly doesn't feel embarrassed to be seen with me. He's just like that I guess.

I have asked him to hold my hand when we're out and help me a little in the house when he's over or at least offer. This lasts a week or 2 and then we're back to square one. Am I asking too much from this man. He says he loves me?

Well,, laziness is a sickness without a cure,, but it does have medication,, not a permanent solution,, needs constant attention, pestering, reminders etc. it's very tough to handle a lazy guy,, m married to one,,
After 7 years of asking my hubby to get me flowers occasionally, he gave me flowers on my b'day,, but it took me 7 long years... therez nothing you can do to change them immediately,, you need to remind them constantly about everything...

Hi Silverlining. Laziness just doesn't push my buttons. I hve said goodbye to this one. He just makes me feel lonely and unloved. Not good for myself esteem. I can be lonely all by myself. Thanks for responding. Its nice to know someone out there underatands.

Excellent action you took for yourself. Just say good bye, and not waste any more time trying to fix or change this fellow.

Thank you talaniman. Its nice to get someone else's opinion to help me know I made the right decision.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Excellent action you took for yourself. Just say good bye, and not waste any more time trying to fix or change this fellow.

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Thank you talaniman. Its nice to get someone else's opinion to help me know I made the right decision.