In a relationship.

I need advice!

What type of passion beautiful? Sexual, emotional or physical?

Hello Romey,

All three but more sexual/physical.

Sexual - Maybe try some lingerie, meeting him at the door in it and just taking him. Sending provactive text messages, picture messages while he is at work. Stir his desires a bit, you would be surprised to find, guys are very very visual beings and seeing their girlfriend/fiance/wife sending pics of herself in lingerie will get the creative juices pumping.

Emotional - maybe a nice candle lit dinner for the two of you. Something sweet, walk around the park just talking. Put a blanket out and look at the stars, or write down what you like about the other person and then swap the papers.

Hi Beautiful,

Excellent suggestions by Rome.

Another suggestion would be perhaps make dinner reservations for a romantic, slightly upscale place, and get your hair and make-up done. I did this once, and because my hair and make-up where done professionally for that evening (for a wedding that I was going to), I asked the M.U. artist to go 'heavy and dramatic' on the eyes, including fake eyelashes (didn't look cheesy at all), and not only did it make me feel really good, he loved it! I looked like me, but sexier and very 'come hitherish' ;-). It really helped get the mood back that night, and the nights that followed.

Lingerie and the sexual texts and stuff would work amazingly well. It's important to remember that most men are aroused through visuals.

Thank you so much for the great advice.

I don't think I would be able to do the dirty texts because he works nights and I work days. Our schedules conflict. I don't think he'd appreciate them while he's sleeping.

I haven't tried the lingerie approach yet but I have a feeling that when and if I do that, he will walk through the door, I will slowly attack him and he'll say 'I feel gross. I need to take a shower' and then all will be forgotten. I like spontaneous things but I don't think he does. Plus if I do come on to him he will suggest that I think our relationship is based on sex, which is not.

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Originally Posted by bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE

Thank you so much for the great advice.

I don't think I would be able to do the dirty texts because he works nights and I work days. Our schedules conflict. I don't think he'd appreciate them while he's sleeping.

I haven't tried the lingerie approach yet but I have a feeling that when and if I do that, he will walk through the door, I will slowly attack him and he'll say 'I feel gross. I need to take a shower' and then all will be forgotten. I like spontaneous things but I don't think he does. Plus if I do come on to him he will suggest that I think our relationship is based on sex, which is not.

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Hi Beautiful,

One thing, have you spoken to him about the lack of passion? What are his thoughts on it?

Well I have spoken to him about the neglect of sex (love making).
He said that he feels pressured into doing it all the time because I want to do it ALL THE TIME (only on the week ends because that's when we have our time together. What's wrong with that?) He said that I need to make him want me, like play hard to get.

You know what? My boyfriend says the same of me. You and I are both going through similar situations. How do we play hard to get? I mean I would think that men love when their girlfriends/wives want to make love to them.

Guys, any thoughts?

I'm a dude and it does get somewhat annoying (believe it or not) when a girl just straight up throws herself at you. Just chill for a bit and don't even mention sex. Do arousing things but make sure they aren't blatant- simply suggestive. Ease into it- don't throw yourself at him. Just my opinion

I like andrew's idea, perhaps an example would be to maybe clean the house in short shorts and a low cut top? It's hard to put it into words as I don't want you to think I'm implying to be a "whore" or "slutty" or take offense to these suggestions. You can always make a guy want you by wearing less around the house. I love when my girlfriend does it, just not out of the house :-)

Thanks Guys! I will try these suggestions. (I already do wear less inside) but I still feel that doesn't get his attention.

Hey star,

I agree with you. I do dress some what attractivly but because I live with him, he probably thinks it's the norm for me. How long have you been with your boyfriend? I have been with mine for 2 years and 4 months. It seems that after I moved in with him, things went downhill from there.

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Originally Posted by Andrew916

i'm a dude and it does get somewhat annoying (believe it or not) when a girl just straight up throws herself at you. just chill for a bit and don't even mention sex. do arousing things but make sure they aren't blatant- simply suggestive. ease into it- don't throw yourself at him. just my opinion

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Thanks for the idea.

If my boyfriend tells me to 'play hard to get' when it comes to sex then I should turn him down the next time he wants it, right? That is playing hard. The only problem with that is that I wouldn't be able to turn him down because well, I would want it too!

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Originally Posted by bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE

Hey star,

I agree with you. I do dress some what attractivly but because I live with him, he probably thinks it's the norm for me. How long have you been with your boyfriend? I have been with mine for 2 years and 4 months. It seems that after I moved in with him, things went downhill from there.

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Hi Beautiful,

I am just recently back with him (we were on again off again, on again for 4 years) , and a year ago he moved out of state. I visit him often though, and am planning on moving there in a few months. Even when I was with past boyfriends and when I was married, the same thing would happen.

I would like to play hard to get, but yet, I too want to make love and have the passion. I also don't want to come off as depriving him either.

What do we do??

It may suck not to have sex but just try it once to gauge his reaction! Think of it this way, it'll be way better when you do have it ;)

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Originally Posted by Andrew916

it may suck not to have sex but just try it once to gauge his reaction! think of it this way, it'll be way better when you do have it ;)

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That's a good point, Andrew! Thanks :) But why do men act/feel this way?

It all depends on the man. Lol. I'm sure that's not what you want to hear but, unfortunately, it's true. Relationships are like a game of battleship. You take educated guesses until you get a hit and then you work from there. Once you get a response from your man, work from there. That should make it a little easier!