Be the bigger person and ask him to least talk, or just accept it and move on?
Hello everyone,
I'm going to try to condense this but I TRULY would love your insight on this situation.
2 yr relationship. Both divorced w/ kids. I have mine 98% of the time. He has his 50+% of the time. We both have a hectic life/work schedule. Quality alone time is limited.
7 months in, he bought a house in an area that I don't care for. He knew that because he asked my opinion while looking for homes. My kids go to a great school. His kid goes to a great school based on the moms address. He bought a NICE house in a VERY BAD school district.
AFTER he bought it, he asked me to move in. I said no because of the school district. Plus one of my kids receives excellent special education at our current school. He never asked to move in w/ me & never spoke about us living together until AFTER he bought the house.
Tensions have soared. He feels we can only spend more time together as a couple if we live together but because he has bought the house (can't sell it either because of the market), he has been depressed about it.
He casually told me he looked for rings last year. I said while I'm excited, we should hold off until the housing situation could be remedied. Why? I know neither of us wants to be engaged and living apart long-term ... but I can't live where he is b/c of the school system. His daughter is at a top tier blue-ribbon school b/c of where the mom lives. He even admitted later that he didn't think about the school district at the time b/c his daughter was "taken care of". I love this man dearly. Willing to work through issues... but I stood my ground when it came to my kids priorities and education.
We vowed to stay together and figure a way to make it work.
Fast forward to this year, an argument BLEW UP.
Update: He was suppose to be at my one of my daughters surgery in late March. For months before, he promised her/me that he'd be there. We didn't have a date b/c of pre-op appts until last minute. When I told him the date, he asked if we could go out of town with he and his daughter for spring break (3 states away).... i said.. um, she'll be in surgery the day before... No. He goes, ok... well, no problem. I figured it would be "no" but btw, I won't be able to make the surgery. I was LIVID. That weekend when they came back, he asked if he and daughter could come by and bring her a card and chocolate. I said..SHE'D LOVE THAT... three times that weekend, he cancelled. One time, he even said we're on the way but he was waiting of his daughter to finish in the bathroom. Finally, he said...I can't convince DD to go... I was FLOORED. Then he later claimed it was because she must have come down with something from the spring break trip and wasn't feeling well. WTH? My daughter took it SO FREAKING hard.
So I asked him about this... a week later... took me a minute to cool off and had to focus on my girls and work. (I work for myself and work is crazy). So I asked about these circumstances and he went left field with the conversation and instead of answering, he broke it off because he claims I didn't want an engagement & won't move in with him. He also said... I'm not a priority in his life. I can't give him what he wants. It has gotten ugly. He's blocked me & said good luck. No contact for a month. I'm shocked by his coldness. Kids are involved & 2 years ends like this? Be a bigger person & reach out at least to talk or say COMPLETELY SCREW IT and just forget him?
Thank you for reading...
Had to fight myself from reaching out to him today...
Not so much a question but a thought I'm sharing... Had to fight myself from reaching out to him today. My ex-husband (I'm on good terms with, divorced 7 years ago) called this morning to let me know he was in a horrible motorcycle accident (pretty bad... staples in his head, skin has been removed from his face, broken hand)... My ex-boyfriend that I posted about last week also rides bikes (new Harley I mentioned)... The honest/humble side of me was going to send a simple note this morning saying to be careful and mention that my ex-husband was in an accident. We'd share this kind of information normally but I had an internal warfare going on... had to remind myself that he probably doesn't care to hear it and I probably shouldn't give a hoot about sharing such information with him ...
All this thinking actually brings me a question...
My ex-boyfriend's DD's birthday is the end of this month. I had a good relationship with her (very good)... there's a part of me that wants to send him a message to say Happy Birthday to her... (even though I have her number,she is a minor and I would consider it disrespectful to text her happy birthday considering I'm no longer with her father). But again, I find myself fighting myself... like... if it's over, it's over... and he likely wouldn't want that anyhow so I should get the thought out of my head. It would only serve to confuse or make things complex... But the reason for wanting to say Happy Birthday is simple... she didn't do anything, you know? A simple happy birthday to her... but again, if it would make it difficult if everyone is trying to move on... I don't know... just rambling I guess. Thoughts and opinions are welcome.