I met this girl and I must admit things were going too fast. We already have sex two weeks in and we only officially boyfriend and girlfriend for two weeks. I know too much too fast crash and burn. I really like this girl but I think we have money issues. Most of the time we go out, I paid for it. A few times she pays but only her own shares but never offer to pay for me. She said she love me and everything but I don't feel it.

For instance, on my birthday she bought me a gift but then when we go for my bd dinner I had to pay for it as well and she didn't even offer to pay. From what she is saying, she doesn't like splitting 50/50. She likes her boyfriend to take the bigger share like 80/20. So I talked to her about it. She said she was only kidding and said she is willing to change if both of us are happy. But then a few days later she said we have different views and she is not sure how to deal with it. I try to text her and ask her to talk about it but so far no reply.

I think it must be something I said, I told her you said you love me but I fail to see it because action speakers louder than words. I feel that if she's considerate enough she should offer to pay once in a while instead let me pay every time. I've been down this road before and I won't do it again and I should stick to my gun. I shouldn't have move so quickly. The mind and the body doesn't work together sometimes. Should I just move on if things doesn't pan out?

Your girlfriend seems to be milking off you,she seems to be using sex and things as a weapon against you.She must think that if she gives you everything you want so soon then you'll do your "fair share" and pay for things.if I was you I would get out of that.

If you keep on paying for her then she will expect it later on,obviously she's annoyed at you for not wanting to pay.if you carry on she will get more bitter and expect it all the time then you'll be stuck buying her clothes shoes bags and have no money for yourself.

Sadly that's how the dating world is now. Women expect the guys to pay for every date otherwise you're labeled as being cheap. My ex gave me the same advice lol. I haven't been dating for a long time but I don't think this is how it is supposed to be. She replied now and said she doesn't have time and is busy these days. Just last week she said she would change her life for me lol.

What you thought the sex was free?? That was dumb.

At two weeks in, I'd expect you to pay too. I didn't pay for a date for three months when I started seeing my husband. You two have a lot of confusion here. Its only been two weeks. Are you still in the dating phase or are you in a relationship? You have jumped into bed with each other without defining your expectations or what is acceptable. Slow waaaayyyy down, and actually get to know her and what her values are. Find out if they are compatible with yours. And, its only been two weeks. Walk away if you have to. Its too early for you to be discussing a love relationship with a person you barely know.

I dated her for two months but only become an item for two weeks. I need to take things slower but she is very needy and jealous. She got the need for my call and attention all the time. She wants to see me everyday. Some time I am tired and just want to relax but she want me to see her and drive her around to do her things. I think I start to become a doormat.

Make some changes so you aren't doormat for a needy chick.

I did. That is why I am in the dog house now lol. But I think if she is making time for me it should just be us doing ours things and not me doing her chores because she didn't have time to do them. Her ego is bruised after I explained to her.

If you are unhappy leave the relationship. You two are not on the same page.

Time to cut your losses and run. You two obviously have different ideas about dating. This won't change. She won't change. You shouldn't have to change either. So find someone that you don't need to change.

As for the paying when you go out. It used to be customary for the guy to pay the bill. At least back when I was dating, which really wasn't that long ago. Only 21 years. OMG! 21 years! :(

For the next girlfriend talk about this before you start to seriously date. Let her know that you don't have enough money to pay for her and yourself every time you go out. Maybe suggest that dates should be split 50/50, she pays for herself, you pay for yourself.

The economy is tough right now. I'm lucky if I get McDonalds once a month. That's a date night for me, and both my husband and I work full time. No one should expect someone to dish out money every time you go out, especially in the early dating stage when you go out more often.

Good luck.

Hey I don't mind paying more I am not a big fan of 50/50. But I just don't like to pay every time. If we were to go out every day I'll broke. I don't like to tell them let split the bill it doesn't sound attractive. Most of the considerate one will offer anyway so I can weed out the bad one.

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Originally Posted by icalltheshot

I met this girl and I must admit things were going too fast. We already have sex two weeks in and we only officially bf and gf for two weeks. I know too much too fast crash and burn.

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You said it best! So now you see why it is good to take things slow and learn about each other. That why dating is a good thing.

How do u control your urges when two people are being affectionate? The big head and small head don't work together that is for sure.

I am doing nc now since she is being nice but said is busy and said will go for coffee one day if we both have time.

Your be surprise at what you can control even though it might be hard.

And your on the right track.

Whatever happens with this girl (it looks like it isn't going to work out if you're doing NC), use this as a lesson that you will set your boundaries early on in the relationship.

If YOU are going to pay for dinner, then YOU invite her out to dinner. That way, you'll have control over when you pay for the dinners. If it's just a spur of the moment plan that you both decide you want to go out, then 50/50. If she invites you, she pays.

That's exactly how it's always worked for my boyfriend and I, and there's never been any issues. If the girl you date doesn't think you take her out often enough, then let her free. No one should make you feel like you have to spend more than you can afford just to please them. Last time I checked, that ISN'T what builds love.

In 2011, women can pay just as easily as men.

That how it is with me and my husband even when were dating. How dies your girlfriend take you out to dinner for your birthday and you still ends up paying for it? That is wrong, wrong, wrong. Did I say wrong?

Wot do you mean it won't work if I am doing nc? And Liz to answer your question she said pick a place and she'll go w me. I paid for it but in my mine I was thinking is it my birthday or hers? Anyway it is over. She is probably not the considerate type.

I was referring to this:

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Originally Posted by icalltheshot

I am doing nc now since she is being nice but said is busy and said will go for coffee one day if we both have time.

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Did you mean "No Contact"? That's how I interpreted it. Basically I was saying it doesn't look like the relationship is going to work out, I'm sorry if I was wrong in that assessment.

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Originally Posted by icalltheshot

How do u control your urges when two people are being affectionate? The big head and small head don't work together that is for sure.
I am doing nc now since she is being nice but said is busy and said will go for coffee one day if we both have time.

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You are responsible for your own actions, and if you know actions have consequences, don't let the little head, (which has no brains) think for you. That's what the big head is for.

You don't go NC with someone you are dating, you give them space to do their thing while you do yours, and enjoy getting to know them when you do make time for each other.

Too much, too fast, crash and burn!!!

Since you have already gotten carried away and explored your lust, you better pay attention, and see what this stranger is about BEFORE continuing to be carried away by your little head. You are already seeing things you don't like, so pay attention, and learn more. Use the big head, as lust fades, and love grows. Know the difference!

Thanks for the advice Tal. The reason I said nc is because I don't know if she still want to be w me so it is better this way. She doesn't even want to talk about it at this point. Obviously I can't keep contacting her.