My partner isn't willing to be spontaneous, but I need her to be, what do I do?
My fiancé is the same age as me, 21, and we have known each other for over 5 years. Recently we decided to get married, I love her very much, and though we are young I feel like we are a near perfect fit for each other. Except for one thing, which really shouldn't bother me much but I am lost because I have tried to communicate my issue to her but it feels wrong to want it. I know we can work though it but I just don't know how to explain it to her.
When we make love she want's me to take time with her, to pay attention to her whole body and very slowly move to more vigorous motions. I feel a strong desire to have more spontaneous interactions, but when I ask for this she feels like I am not showing her that I love her, she feels like I am just showing her that I want to "****". I don't have a problem taking time with her, but I can't get her to understand that the way we please each other is a two way street, that my desires aren't wrong, and they aren't expressing that I want to "****". What is it with the difference between ****ing and making love, how come if I feel passionate I am showing that I want to ****, and not make love?