Hello,

I will try and shorten the story. Basically 10 months ago, I met Jack at the pub I work at.he asked me on dates and I really liked him but he was my brothers friend and he had asked him to back off multiple times and had received many threats from people I work with at the pub who consider themselves to be my family. There reasoning was to protect me because he had previously been someone who would 'smash and dash.' So things became complicated between us, and then he began to ignore me over the phone and would only speak to me if he ran into me.

During this period I became very close friends with Damian, his best friend and someone I had known for a few years, and also works for my Dad. He was someone I always went to for advice about Jack funnily enough, I also used to give him advice in regards to his ex girlfriend. Over the Christmas period when I was back home from University, me and him became even closer especially as he broke up with his girlfriend and Johnny continued to make promises he could not keep. I had a large falling out with my Dad and I suffer from anxiety and my panic attacks came back and he was the only one who could calm me down not even my best friend. After this day I realised that I did fancy Damian as well now to some degree, he told me it was a mutual thing. But I was still in love with Jack in some form at this time, so there was only a brief kiss when he dropped me home once. But since I returned to University we talked everyday on the phone sometimes for hours and I forgot about Jack completely. Then my Dad found out and he did not like the idea of me and Damian at all that's a separate story. But a lot of people disapproved. So we decided it was best to just remain friends well he decided since he was the one who was dealing with all the drama.

Anyway I went home last weekend, essentially to make sure that our friendship was still OK. But then he left to soon and Jack came in and started saying all the things I always wanted him to say, weather he was just manipulating me or not is another question. But I ended up kissing him. Damian found out the next day and he didn't speak to me for two days, then the day I am going back to Uni he goes back to normal and tried to kiss me when I left. I must still have feelings for Jack I realised as well. Then I heard from a friend that Damian was seeing someone else and that hurt me so I rang him and he claimed it wasn't true he was only after one girl. Then valentines day roles around and I receive messages and phone calls from Jack telling me to give him another chance, and that he knows what he did was wrong. But it would be wrong of me if I did when I have feelings for his best friend.

I don't know how to figure out which one I do love before I end up losing them both any advice on how to figure this out would be great.

I don't think you love either of these dudes, but have fallen for the emotional drama of attachment and attention, which is normal on many levels. Remove yourself from the emotional drama, and find another option for your own happiness when you are home from uni. Fair warning though, its not as easy as I make it sound to get from between these two, but you must, for your own good, or be stuck in this soap opera drama until you have had enough. LOL, I think you have had enough of this emotional confusion and that's why you are here on this forum, right?

My suggestion is walk away from both fellows, their drama, and friendship or the bored kisses while you are home. You don't need any of that confusing nonsense from the locals. OMG, you may have to build a life that you enjoy without both these guys. Did I say it won't be that easy?

For now lose them both and find yourself.