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-   -   Is my poem anygood? P.s: dedicated to my ex sara dominguez (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=225195)

  • Jun 9, 2008, 11:38 PM
    andy305mia
    Is my poem anygood? p.s: dedicated to my ex sara dominguez
    Why Do I Still Love You?
    I don't know why I still love you but I do.
    Even after all the heartbreak you put me through.
    After all the cheatin and all the mistreating
    I still found myself runnin' to you.
    I still think about you all through the night.
    Remember when I use to ride you on my bike?
    You told your friends it was true love.
    But if you ask me you never knew what true love was.
    I did all I could for you and more.
    But despite all that my heart you still tore.
    You think you did nothing wrong that what you did was fine.
    You call it taking care of business from time to time.
    But I call it disrespect you took me for granted cause I was too kind.
    I thought you had enough respect for me.
    That before cheatin you would just leave.
    You should've warned me so that I could've prepared my heart.
    But instead you just sat there and watched us fall apart.
    Meanwhile the whole time I stayed true.
    Now can you please tell me why I still love you.
    Cause I don't know why... but I do.




    Is this poem any good I'm going 2 dedicate it to my ex sara dominguez
  • Jun 10, 2008, 03:53 AM
    Clough
    Why Do I Still Love You?

    I don't know why I still love you but I do.
    Even after all the heartbreak you put me through.
    After all the cheatin and all the mistreating
    I still found myself runnin' to you.

    I still think about you all through the night.
    Remember when I use to ride you on my bike?
    You told your friends it was true love.
    But if you ask me you never knew what true love was.

    I did all I could for you and more.
    But despite all that my heart you still tore.
    You think you did nothing wrong that what you did was fine.
    You call it taking care of business from time to time.

    But I call it disrespect you took me for granted cause I was too kind.
    I thought you had enough respect for me.
    That before cheatin you would just leave.
    You should've warned me so that I could've prepared my heart.

    But instead you just sat there and watched us fall apart.
    Meanwhile the whole time I stayed true.
    Now can you please tell me why I still love you.
    Cause I don't know why... but I do.

    I like your poem! It is from your heart, and is obviously very well thought out! I hope you don't mind, but I did arrange it in such a way that it could be a little more metrical and lyrical concerning the rhythmic properties of the type of poem that it appears to be intended to be.

    I think that you could work on your endings to the sentences a little more so that they could rhyme better.

    That is my observation, anyway...
  • Jun 10, 2008, 02:11 PM
    kiki_doki
    I think the poems really cute, I mean I know you were in pain when you wrote it but it's a cool poem none the less! You're conveying the pain you were feeling at the time of writing it.
    Well done you (",)
  • Jun 12, 2008, 09:57 AM
    Sonador101
    It was a great poem, it really shows what pain you felt.. it was deep, truly. I really enjoyed it, it was very sad, and yet iy showed how you truly felt.
  • Nov 22, 2008, 11:38 AM
    latinrose4u

    To Andy:
    I hope you are not talking about the same person that ruined my relationship, As I can read in your poem I know believe what I've heard, you were the best and always showed love... to Sara, but she was and is a gold digger she's up there in age and likes younger men... My heart goes to you.. You deserve better, there are women out there who would love to meet a person like you and correspond you the way u want and deserve... lots of blessings...
  • Nov 22, 2008, 11:39 AM
    latinrose4u
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by andy305mia View Post
    Why Do I Still Love You?
    I don't know why I still love you but I do.
    Even after all the heartbreak you put me through.
    After all the cheatin and all the mistreating
    I still found myself runnin' to you.
    I still think about you all through the night.
    Remember when I use to ride you on my bike?
    You told your friends it was true love.
    But if you ask me you never knew what true love was.
    I did all I could for you and more.
    But despite all that my heart you still tore.
    You think you did nothing wrong that what you did was fine.
    You call it takin care of business from time to time.
    But I call it disrespect you took me for granted cause I was too kind.
    I thought you had enough respect for me.
    That before cheatin you would just leave.
    You should've warned me so that I could've prepared my heart.
    But instead you just sat there and watched us fall apart.
    Meanwhile the whole time I stayed true.
    Now can you please tell me why I still love you.
    Cause I don't know why... but I do.




    Is this poem any good im going 2 dedicate it to my ex sara dominguez

    This is beautiful, if she hurt you this way she doesn't even deserve this beautiful poem...
  • Dec 6, 2008, 09:31 PM
    jsosad14

    I love your poem. I'm a poet myself and thought this piece was really good. I hope your poem helped you soothe the pain this girl caused, I've written a poem about my ex and it really help me understand the things I didn't know about her or myself. Great poem by the way!!

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