Originally Posted by
dragon76
My wife and I have been married for over a month now. We met each other 13 months ago through an internet service, the one with all the bells and whistles that matches you on so many dimensions…
To the point: She has a male best friend; they have been very close for the past 6 or 7 years. He is not only her best friend but also mentor, both in life and at work (Was her boss on and off for more than half of their friendship)
I married her because she is a ray of light (HAPPY) a wonderful mother, does not care about worldly things and physically beautiful. I am stating this because as wonderful as she is I don’t trust her completely and this lack of trust stemmed mainly from her relationship with her best friend.
When I met her, he was her boss, they called each other every morning on the way to work, ate together at work, gave each other gifts for every occasion and her admiration towards him was a frequent topic with me. To the point where if I had a story about something I did, she would comment on how he did it as well… When I finally met him I felt a little better. He greeted me with open arms, as a brother to her and myself as well. Even spoke at our wedding and spoke highly of me. He is married and is a wonderful father from what I see. He has been there for her through her father’s death, career, etc.
I am confused because although they no longer work together and the everyday talking stopped for a while; there is something that has always bugged me about their closeness. I want her to keep this good friend but with boundaries. This morning I looked at her phone history and for the past 5 days they have been calling each other at 6:45am on the dot on the way to work, like before. I approached her, with my usual scolding she did not deny the calls (at the beginning of our relationship she did avoid the topic though and would keep talking to him although I was calling on the other line) I told her I found the frequency and exactitude, schedule weird, with this new established calling pattern. That it did not make me feel as insecure as before but somewhat fearful. That in my eyes it seems as if he is “a morning coffee” which she absolutely has to have. She has other close friends, mainly female and she had these routines with them at one point but not with such dedication.
Is it wrong for a married woman to start her day calling her best male friend? I don’t have any rituals / routines whatsoever with any other females. I get my healthy share of football and guy talk with guy friends and though I have female friends my time with them is minimal and I call them rarely.
I don’t want to do the wrong thing nor deny her of her space and right to be in the company of others. I don’t understand her behavior though. I appreciate your comments. Thank you.