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-   -   Should I get in touch? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=553584)

  • Feb 11, 2011, 11:44 AM
    mylie
    Should I get in touch?
    I recently broke up with my girlfriend, it was a long distance relationship, she was from the uk I lived in ireland.

    We were meeting every 2nd week for the last 6 months! We get on really well together...
    When I was back home she would always be flirting with guys on Facebook. It didn't bother me but if I asked about one or two guys she was in touch with before we were a couple (but seeing each other) she would pretend she didn't know them... it would always frustrate her if a certain girl would chat to me on the site though she would not admit it...
    I got onto her one day about her deleting her recent activity on Facebook (when you comment on other peoples pages etc) because she would only leave messages up that she sent to me... I asked her why she was doing it and she said because she didn't want anyone to read her messages! So I asked why does she just leave mine up and she said she didn't... I think she was just afraid of seeing her to be a flirt! She got angry and said I was poking at her about this for a while and she decided she wasn't ready for a relationship... she said the relationship was bringin too much jealousy and she wasn't ready for that.

    Her previous guy cheated on her and her father cheated on her mother resulting in them being separated! We had a massive argument and I told her she was a slut and took after her father... I later apologised but she said she just wasn't ready for a relationship and that its best we leave things as they are..

    I really miss her. She's been like that since I first met her I just wasn't aware of it at first... is she just a flirt? Or am I just being blind? We haven't been in contact in 3wks... I hate feeling like this... I want her back!! I can't tell her that or she will run further away! Should I try clear the air? Help...
  • Feb 11, 2011, 01:57 PM
    ken007nielsen
    She might be sneaking around, you don't trust her. It's a long distance relationship. Your already broken up.

    I see absolutely no reason whatsoever as why you should contact her again...
  • Feb 12, 2011, 06:47 AM
    Devorameira

    It's impossible to say whether there has been any hanky panky going on. The problem could be all within your own head.

    Healthy relationships are built on trust and respect. Since you obviously didn't feel like you could trust her, then you're better off to stay away from her.
  • Feb 12, 2011, 02:35 PM
    ByeBye
    Trust is one of the essential foundations of a relationship, and without it a relationship nevers works out because u will only be thinking what she is doing when u are not around and this will irrate you and keep bringing you back to the same situation and arguments!
  • Feb 12, 2011, 08:54 PM
    vanheart
    This is long distance don't forget. Not a real relationship.

    "she said the relationship was bringin to much jealousy and she wasnt ready for that."

    Of course. You spend more time apart. Stop being jealous. Be like her. Free.

    If you guys want to enjoy time, then cool, just don't try & force things.

    With both of you agreeing on keeping things casual. Otherwise, I wouldn't pursue things, thinking that this will become something else.

  • Feb 13, 2011, 01:31 PM
    talaniman

    You have not said how long this relationship has been going on, but clearly there was no trust from what you have written, and its always a big red flag when you jump to a conclusion, and call names instead of getting the facts first, and dealing with the truth.

    At the end of the day though, she didn't like what was happening, and did something about it, and you have to respect that, and let her go, and don't repeat the mistakes of the past. If she changes her mind, she will let you know, but until then, just do your thing , heal, and rebuild, and do better next time.

    You are right about one things though, chasing her to explain further will drive her away. Especially if you make a pest of yourself.

    I have to add one thing though, and that's not to run your relationship off what's put on Facebook!!
  • Feb 22, 2011, 10:18 AM
    mylie
    Thanks peeps! I appreciate your responses... she denied knowing a guy who was leaving her short messages such as: ring me when you can and up2?xx were apart a month and I texted her the other day asking was she ready to clear the air! She said he was a guy that hung around with her mate...

    How hard could that have been to say a month ago?? She clearly was meeting other blokes, he's just 1 I caught! She hid here friend list from me on Facebook! Found loads of comments from her on other guys photos...

    I am in love with her, but I don't trust her and she lies too much! We were together 6months! Why would a girl tell you after you caught her that she just wasn't ready for a relationship?? I told her ages ago she wasn't and she insisted she was... but I was suspecting her (deep down) of this along time ago so its my own fault I guess! I'm blocked from her Facebook and told her not to unblock me! I won't forgive her.

    You can't put up with people who f**f with your heart :( yet I really miss her...

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