He masturbates to pictures of the adult children. How do I forgive?
I am at the end of my rope. I have been with my husband for over 20 years. A few years ago I discovered he was masturbating to pictures of one of our adult (just over 21) female children. The pictures he was using were pictures he took. Not overly sexy but very cute. I confronted him and he agreed to counseling. The counselor told him he suffered from low self esteem. My husband said he isn't masturbating to the children, but has objectized them. He also said the taboo of it made it exciting. My husband was so embarrassed and ashamed, he swore this would never happen again. Well a few weeks ago I discovered he was doing this again. This time to pictures of two of adult female children. These were everyday pictures of the children going to parties. I have confronted him again and he has agreed to counseling, anything to fix us and him. But I am struggling. I feel like I should leave this marriage. How do I know that this hasn't been going on all along? I know the children are adults, but they are still our children. How can I llove and make love to a man that thinks this way? How do I know that if he will break this taboo he won't break others? I have so many other worries that fly though my head. I feel so crushed, broken, hurt, alone and scared. I would appreciate any feedback, advise or words from someone that has experienced this. Please help.