First Name Basis in Business?
My boss asked me to submit a registration form on his behalf for a business related social function. The instructions on the form stated that it should be returned either by email or mail with contact information for each option.
If mailing it was to go to, "Attn: Jane", with no last name given for Jane. If emailing it was to go to: jdoe@... Other than what could be guessed from the email address - that her first initial was J and the last name Doe, the contact person's name did not appear anywhere in the instructions. One could surmise her full name was Jane Doe from the Attn and email address together.
My boss wanted me to email the registration so they would have the courtesy of knowing right away that he was coming, and to follow up via mail to include his check for the registration fee.
I sent a message like this (though I've changed the exact names):
"Dear Jane:
Attached please find the registration form for your upcoming golf outing for Dave Johnson and his guest, Steve Wilson. We are placing the original in the mail to you today with the registration fee.
Sincerely,
Nancy West"
My boss was very upset that I handled this poorly. He said that I "should have known" not to address "Jane" by her first name and instead to call her "Ms. Doe" because she is a minority and this is the norm among this particular minority (she is apparently African American) is to address people formally by Mr. or Mrs. with a last name. He said that calling her Jane was very rude on my part.
I think that since the form from her organization stated to send the information "Attn: Jane" I was correct to use her first name. I was always taught that it is proper to address people by their title and last name until and unless they direct you to use a less formal address, such as their first name.
I also think my boss is wrong to set different standards for different races of people. In any event, as for the racial argument, I never met the lady - I had no idea that she was African American until he told me that she was - after I had already sent the email. He said that it's not a double standard but rather is cultural sensitivity and respect.
I also find that in business, calling people by their last names and title is very rapidly falling out of favor unless one is in a subordinate position. For example, I do not address customers on a first name basis unless they ask me to or introduce themselves to me on a first name basis. However, if I meet a peer at a business lunch, I do not address them as "Mr. Jones" because it would be very weird. It's just not done, in my experience, among peers.
This lady was a peer in job title and her organization is one which we support as a non-profit charitable interest - they are not customers.
My boss said that by using my full name and only using her first name, I disrespected her. I think that's a bit of a stretch - I included my last name because we had never met and I thought she might need to know my full name if she needed to get back in touch with me about the reservation. As for using her first name, it was an email - had it been a formal letter I'd have included her full name in the address block, then just her first (as instructed on the form) in the salutation.
Am I off base on this or is my boss, as I suspect, just hassling me over nothing?
