What do I do when my sweet, funny, kind daughter changes into an absolute monster when she doesn't get to do the things she wants (drink, stay out until midnight,) that her friends are allowed to do.

She said she is growing up to hate me.
She hates school. Hates her life.

How do you rate as a father?
Looking back, I see you asking about your girlfriend a year ago. And boxing, and something called a cray ring.

It might be too late to 'do it all over' but I would try to sit down with her over a light lunch in a quiet restaurant (to cut down on any yelling) and tell her you just want to listen to her, to hear what she thinks went wrong in her childhood.

Do not say one word except tell me more.
JUST LISTEN. Then go home and think about it, and hug her, and say you want to talk again.

This is definitely an issue for family counseling. You may also need some parenting classes to get through the teen years. Get some help now before she runs away, or worse...

Sounds like she has the wrong friends, children that age do not do all those things.

What does the other half of this co parenting TEAM have to say? I assume you are a father from your other posts so I assume you and the mother of this child are apart. Is this the case and does the child reside with just with you or what? What's the arrangement?

Normally mom AND dad work together to establish boundaries, discipline, and ENFORCE rules. Why is this NOT so?