How do I get over him cheating on me?
I have a problem that is really affecting me physically and emotionally. I have been dating this guy for almost 2 years now. I have never been so happy in my life. I wanted to spend all of my time with him and he felt the very same way as myself. We were so in love. In November, he started acting a little strange. I tried not to think anything by it and keep assuring myself that everything was fine. The more time I tried to spend with him the more he told me he was tired, etc. My woman intuition kicked him and I caught him cheating. The girl was at his house. Needless to say he tried to say it wasn't what it looked like but I know in my heart it is. I was so hurt and I still am. It literally felt like my heart was broken and it was falling off my shoulder in pieces. I never would have imaged he would do that to me because I thought everything was fine between us.
I forgave him and took him back even though he still will not admit he was cheating. In January I found out about another girl. I believe he was seeing her when he was cheating with the girl I caught him with in November. She actually came into this house with me and him and showed me text and everything between them. Again I felt so hurt that he could do this a second time. He started saying that once again he wasn't cheating and it wasn't what it looked like. But she had clothes there, tooth brush, body wash. I kept asking myself how did I miss it all? How did I not see her stuff right there in my face? At that time I had not been going over there too much because he was so “tired” I had lied to me so many times.
Despite it all I still stayed with him because I loved him so much. But for the past two months, I wish I had not have stayed. I'm so angry with him for hurting me so bad. Since that happened in January I feel in my heart that he is not cheating and that he has no more intentions of cheating. I honestly feel and believe that. But the problem is I can't forget or let go what he did to me. I thought I would be over it by now but I am not. I tried talking to him about it but it doesn't help. I have even tried breaking up with him numerous times but he won't let me go. He wants to get married and fix “us” he said. He is really pushing me to move in but I just can't.
For the past month I have been arguing with him everyday and it is because of when he cheated on me. I say really mean things to him and act mean towards him. At this point I really don't know what to do. How do I get over him cheating? I have tried so many different things but nothing is working and I don't want to treat him bad anymore. I still love him but I don't feel the say way about him like I use to.
What do I do?