How do I talk to my mum who died?
My mum died in October last year a day after my daughter’s birthday. She was my bestest friend and I was really close to her. I held her hand as she took her last breath. My dog of 10 years died 30th Dec last year. I held him as he slipped away. My granddaughter was born at 04.45 on 4th Feb. this year, and 7 hours later, my horse that I had had for 16 years had to put to sleep because she had cancer. I couldn’t stay with her till the end as I felt my heart had been ripped out when my mum died and I couldn’t face it, if my granddaughter hadn’t been born that morning, I truly feel I wouldn’t be here.
I want so much to feel my mum around me but I don’t. I have been to various tarot card readers and they have said a few things that are true but nothing that really convinces me. I have 3 questions in my head. I just want a sign from my mum. I’ve totally gone downhill. I drink too much, I have let myself go, I don’t sleep, I push everyone away and the biggest thing is, I don’t go to see my dad. It takes me months to go to see him. It’s not his fault and I feel horrible that I’m putting my dad though this. It just feels wrong that my mums not there. It’s killing me inside, I don’t know which way to turn.
I really need my mum. What do I do? Please help me