I started dating my ex in 2003,we went out for about 4 months and I found out she was cheating on me and I broke it off.I wanted to get back together with her cause I could not stop thinking of her.A few days later she smsed me and wanted to get back 2 gether and I said yes.

Everything was fine for 8 months until we went to a friends birthday and she became interested in another guy and sumhow she got his number.a few days later she began started acting weird and she broke it off and wouldn't give me a honest reason why but I knew.a week later she phoned up and said she was sorry and wanted to go out again and I agreed after a few days and I could not get her out of my mind.

Again about 10 months later she started acting weird and I knew it was sum1 else and landed up being sum1 from her work and we broke up again.

After awhile she ended it with that guy and landed up moving to another city because she had met sum1 else on holiday with the guy she cheated on with me.She had been there for 6 mnths and landed up being pregnant.

She is single now but she still always tries to get intouch with me and when I do c her she wants to get back to gether and then she will change her mind in a few weeks again.

This has been going on for 5 years.I dream of her a lot and I am always thinking of her,why is this?? And why does she always want to get hold of me and want to get back 2 gether? I was also her very first real boyfriend and she was also me first real girlfriend.

Thank You!

It sounds to me, providing you are being completely honest and open, that this girl is simply using you as a fallback. No matter how this girl behaves she knows you will always give her another chance. This girls obviously has some very serious emotional issues going on within her if she goes from one relationship to another with such ease.

You have 2 options open to you:

1. Ask her to tell you honestly why she treats you this way. Why she does the things she does and then expects you to pick her up when she falls down. At least by doing this there won't be any hidden reasons that could then go on to develop into resentment and anger etc as you've both talked and brought it all out into the open. If nothing happens after this then at least you both have some form of closure.

2. Tell her firmly but politely that you do not appreciate being used and manipulated in this way and then go NC rule all the way.

First reaction would be to tell you to go NC all the way and then give yourself time to heal.

It's all very well us telling you to do this and do that, but at the end of the day it has to be your judgement call.Whatever you decide, the aftermath won't be easy. It never is.

First a friendly bit of advice, chat and text speak are not allowed. Please use full words like together instead of 2 gether and proper spelling as much as possible as in something instead of something. It makes it easier to understand what you have written and for more accurate translation.

Now, you need to stay away from her. I can see no reason to have any contact with her at all.

You are dreaming about and still going back to her because you haven't made up your mind that you are better off without her and her games. You are holding on to the memories of the good moments while dismissing the bad. I don't think there was ever the grand first love that you want it to have been.

It is never too late to put No Contact in place. No Contact means that you do not contact her in any way and you do not accept her attempts to contact you. It is to help you move on and heal from the relationship. It is to give you time and space to unload all the baggage you are loaded down with before you get into a new relationship. Keep in mind that it isn't easy and it has no time limit of schedule of progress. It takes along as needed to be completely over her.

I suggest you read the stickies at the top of the Relationship Forum about break-ups and No Contact.

Good luck letting her go and finding yourself.