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I believe my wife is addicted to text messaging. Before she would leave her cell phone lying around the house, just recently she's had her phone on her at all times, she will even sleep with it. We are unable to have a conversation because she is too concerned with the latest message she just received. I get frustrated whenever she's texting, does she have a problem or am I over reacting. According to our cell phone bill she averages about 90 text messages a day.
It does sound like she has a problem from the way you worded it.
However, there are some questions that should be clarified
These 90 text messages, are they all personal? Or are they work related?
Don't forget to add...
Do you know who she is texting?
It is possible to be addicted to pagers, cell phones or computers and other technology for how "plugged in" they make people feel. Like the Captain, I too wonder who is at the other end of the text messages and if there isn't a bigger underlying explanation. Can you elaborate on that?
I think you need to have an open and honest conversation on how her constant texting makes you feel.
Whether it is for work or personal, it's clearly taking a toll on you.
I would flat out ask her what's going on with 90+ messages a day and then watch her reaction.
I hope you have flat rate texting...
My sis texts a lot, I've seen her texts so I can see how it can add up so quickly. So many of them are short quick replies. I do agree with the philly if it is bothering you that bad, tell her in a non controlling way that it is bothering you.
Point out you love her and it makes you sad that you can't spend real time with her because she is constantly texting. IF it is for work. I can't help you out there. If you do have a flat rate texting plan then maybe she just views it as simply getting your moneys worth.
Also maybe it's the new excitement of it, maybe it will eventually get old and she will grow tired of it. But whatever you decide definitely talk with her in the least offensive way as possible. Good luck.
You guys need to sit and talk about this and express your feelings honestly, no need for a big argument or ultimatums. Just get the feelings out where you both understand where the other is coming from.
Thanks for the advice, she does have a text plan after we paid a $200 cellphone bill one month, she's primarily texting a female coworker but it is not work related, they are simply quick replies to there own little jokes. My wife calls it her hobby and she thinks it's fine because her messages are included in the plan, but she's not realizing that it is causing somewhat of a problem between us.
You have an obligation to express yourself honestly, and respectfully. As you say she is unaware of how you feel because she is playing with her new toy. I'm sure you can understand that. Be patient with her.
I think the point is being missed... this isn't about how many txt messages or what plan she is on - its about the content of the text messages and the amount of time being consumed by them. If it causing a problem for you - then (by default) it is a problem for both of you and you need to tell her.
It may be that the novelty of txting is driving this and it will naturally abate to a more reasonable level if given some time. I can remember when I first got online with a computer and would pull my head back out to see that five hours went by and feel shocked! But it wore off too.
In order for a behavior to qualify as an addiction it must qualify on several levels and its really only purposeful if ultimately the one addicted sees themselves as addicted. So I would caution you against labeling it an addiction to her since that can make her defensive. You can certainly express your concerns-- best to put it in really specific language using examples. Such as: "I was talking with you at breakfast about ____ (something important) and saw you interrupt our conversation five times to answer text messages in less than ten minutes. It felt like I wasn't worth your full attention." It may even be that she doesn't realise she is doing it at the level you are witnessing so maybe you could discreetly document to show her in black and white, so its not a "he said, she said, let's rewrite history" argument. I hope that helps?
Who is sending them to and what is she sayingQuote:
Originally Posted by mebram
Will she show the messages? That's a lot of texting, its kind of unhealthy, know it myself. Once sent 300 texts in a weekend to a bloke I was falling in love with.
p.s. he sent them back -i wasn't bunny boiling!
Hope it works out.
WHat does bunny boiling mean? I have never heard of that term. Sounds English, British maybe asutralian.Quote:
Originally Posted by rachaelicious
Bunny boiling comes from the film 'fatal attraction' you know where Glen Close puts the kids bunny in the pot because she's a messed up stalker. So for example, I once had this guy who would just not let it go after I'd finished it, ringing me and turning up etc - he was 'bunny boiling'! I'm british by the way! X
I was playing a lot on my computer way back when it was all new to me, but not with the same girl friend.
I would be concerned about who she is texting . Will she allow you read all of them ?Will she allow you to see everything she writes... of course this only works when you two are together but I bet it would cut a lot of this out.
Just a thought.
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