Grandma's Rum Cake
1 to 2 quarts Rum
1 cup butter - accept no substitutions
1 teaspoon sugar
2 large eggs
1 cup dried fruit - not citron
Baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
Lemon juice - from fresh lemon
Brown sugar
Nuts - mixed or your preference
Before you start, sample the rum to check quality. Good, isn't it? Now go ahead, select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the rum again. Just to be sure the rum is of the HIGHEST quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.
With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add i seaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanwhile, making sure that the rum ish truly one of the finest quality, pour one hiccup of rum into a glass and drink it as fasssh as you can. You might need to try another cup. Open a second quart of rum if needed.
Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat till high. If druit gets schtuk in beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the rum again. Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add one babblespoon of brown thugar or whatever color you can find. Wix mell. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 gedrees. Pore the hole mess into the boven and cake.
Check the rum again and bo to ged.
