I have been with my boyfriend for over two years. We both still live at home but only a few minutes away from each other. I always go see him (almost every night) and spend the night when I can. Most of the time a visit him in the evening and end up waiting on him to eat and shower before I have to go home because I work the next day. I knew going into the relationship that he didn't like to go out much or spend much but it never really bothered me until recently. He has been coming to my house for Thanksgiving and I usually spend Christmas Day at his house. For Christmas, I bought him, his parents and siblings gifts like I did last year. ( He didn't even stop at my house to wish my parents happy holidays, my parents talk to him a few times a year) I got a gift card from him, I thanked him but I thought he would make a effort to make up for a year of little things I do for him ( buy him). His mom spent more on me than he did but I don't want to make him feel bad. Two days after Christmas he spent over $500 on something for himself, which he always does. I wanted so badly to spend time with him since I had a week of but his friend was always over and I seemed just to be in the way. I spent the holiday break upset and I don't know what to do. I like his friend but he is always around. If his friend is over I don't even feel like going to see him because I know I will just be alone entertaining myself. I tell him how I feel so I will feel better but he never tries to do anything. I don't want to change him I just want him to make an effort. I feel like I am always mad but I love him so much. What should I do?

Sounds to me like he's a little immature and preoccupied with himself.

Talk to him. If you don't get a response, then it's time to move on.

Yeah, first off communicate this to him, and see if it changes.

This seems like a one sided relationship, and he is taking your effort and generosity for granted. As long as you keep going out of your way to put all of this effort in, he will keep being the effortless boyfriend he is. So, talk, and go from there.

If seems like your putting more effort in this relationship then him but then again you knew how he was from the beginning on only now his actions are starting to bother you. You want more and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't think you want much you just want time and to feel wanted. Well your best bet is to express your feelings to him and see his reaction. If nothing change then it's time to move on if your needs aren't being met. Also, I don't think you should be the one doing all the compromise because it will only leave you feeling sad and unwanted. Btw, what are your ages?

Bad news: people don't change

Good news: there are plenty of nice attentive you compatible guys out there.

Here's a philosophy I apply to friends but might help boyfriend situations too

Just because you met them first doesn't mean they are the best match for you.

Communicate is the main break down in a lot of relationships, once this starts to break down most times its over.

You need to have a long honest talk, and make your next call from what comes out of that.

[QUOTE=templelane;1476467]Bad news: people don't change

Disagre: we humans are capable of change

My boyfriend is effortless monkey... and we always argue about that... we always talked about it... I'm very much open about how I feel but still he never makes anything to change it! I always feel neglected! Maybe men are really insensitive..

I'm in the same boat. My boyfriend puts no time or effort in with me or my family yet I do everything for him and his family. He has an excuse for everything and I'm getting tired of it. Occasionally he gets all depressed and worries that I'll leave him because he treats me so badly, he acknowledges he treats me terribly, he hides it from everyone yet he still does it. I'm so over it. But anyway, I think the best any of us can do is play the hand we've been dealt and hope for the best. If he doesn't put any effort in with you or care then perhaps you should just take a step back for a little while and let him feel what it's like without you, still be with him and be there for him but don't ask to see him as much, etc..

I will tell you my situation even though it may not be your case.

I am a guy and I love a girl deeply. Before meeting her I had a girlfriend. I was very affectionate to her, we bought presents to each other on every occasion and spent lots of time together. When we broke up, however, those memories of the time spent together kept feeling bitter. Even a few years after the break up I still can't lightheartedly give gifts to the girl I currently love (although I want to), and I am afraid of spending too much time together or telling people we love each other, because it makes me feel safer to behave that way, keeping an emotional distance of sorts. I am changing by myself, but if by chance that's your boyfriend's case, you may want to reassure him about it.

If that isn't the case, I agree with Twigney, if he doesn't want to make a minimal effort for you, he doesn't deserve you.

Talk to him. Let him know how you feel. You are a caring and nurturing person by nature. He definitely isn't. Also he seems to be taking things for granted.

Its not only about the amount of money he spends on you, its about how much time and attention he gives to you. There has to be some balance some equality in a relationship, you cannot always do all the giving.

Let him know that. And if he doesn't change, leave him for good.