Wife's ex came and spoke to me and I feel sick inside as I never wanted to.
Ok so finally after months and months of fighting and abuse we spoke about it on final time and my wife is calming down and we are not fighting like before anymore (no more abusing and hitting). We just discuss the situation or have our time off and then talk only when we are calm enough to discuss the situation.
That's the good part.
Now I had mentioned before that my wife is also a dancer. She has some group performances happening over the past 2 days and I have been there backstage with her. Her ex is in the volunteer group for the whole event and does the stage clean-up after artistes and running around work to see it stuff is going well.
I have seeing him for a few days now since we have been going to the light and sound checks and he has seen me too (he is engaged to another girl now that he started seeing while he was still with my girlfriend about 3 years back and she only found out later so I consider him a douchebag for cheating)..
My problem is. I never wanted to meet any girl's ex. Whether it is my wife or any girl I have dated before. I am just not comfortable with it. I don't want to meet another guy who has had a thing with my girl (even though in this case it was just kissing and not even 2nd base). I am just uncomfortable being around a person who has been close to my woman.
We were standing outside her greenroom as there were other girls changing in there so she came out to spoke to me and I saw him walking up to us. My wife didn't see that and he came and just stood there. I completely looked away even though I knew who it was I wasn't making any eye contact.
She hasn't spoken to this guy since almost the time they broke off and tells me to consider him a random person too as that's what he is to her so I shouldn't connect him to her anymore. But I just cant stop .
Anyway, she didn't know who it was and just saw a figure there so looked and as soon as she looked he asked.. ' is it possible if he could.. ' and she cut him off as soon as he said that and said, he is right here, talk to him directly if you want to ask him something, so he looked at me and asked if I could help them in the volunteer work for pulling up the audience in one of the performances with few other guys . I was feeling so sick inside because I never wanted to talk to this person or know how he sounded, I wanted to refuse straight up but I was just polite and said what do I need to do and said I'll come and see and if I feel like it I'll do it and he left.
I have been uneasy since then.
I never wanted to have any contact with my partners ex. Later I found out he didn't come ask me by himself. He was on orders by a superior to ask me as I was just hanging out there and if I could just help them all with this one thing.
I need help to get over this because I am feeling distant from my wife because of this incident. I feel its her fault that she asked me to come backstage and so I had to bump into this guy. I don't know how to get over it. Even in my dreams this was going on and I'm feeling more and more hateful towards my wife for stupid reasons. Stupid anger Like why date this guy or why call me to the place where he is or why ask me to be backstage with her and want me to be there with her . And I hate her for me having to bump into this guy.
I have seen this guy often before at prayer houses and so on but this is just making me too sick inside that he had to speak to me. I honestly would have rather not gone for her performance or would rather be dead than this.
Please help me.