Hello,

I need some advice from you people, cause I don't know what to do... I have this best friend and she's my colleague as well, we've been best friends for 2.5 years now sharing thoughts and almost all the time together... But recently she met another friend and we are meeting less and less as time passes and we aren't that close anymore, because she chose this other friend to be her best friend... So we are only meeting at work, and I think that she only asks me to go out with her when the other cannot...

The thing is that it really hurts my feelings seeing what's going on, I mean if you have a best friend, you don't need to find another one, unless you are fed up of the current best friend...

What should I do? Should I talk to her? Should I let go without giving explanations? Really I do not know what to do, as I have to face her everyday at work, I am confused, please help!! :confused:

Hello Steffy,

First thought that people can have more then one best friend. Now that she is getting to know somebody else your feeling left out. That is perfectly normal. So it is not about chosing one over the other. It is someone new and they are starting to get to know each other.

Now is it possible, has she ever asked you to hang out with this other friend? Why not it be possible for you both to be friends as well? Or have you already decided that was not possible?

I think you should talk to her, and let her know you would like to talk to her sometime. I would not talk too much about it because she will just take it as you being jealous. You know this person well, what kind of things were you able to talk to her about. Let her know you would like to get together with her sometime out of work sometime, ask her if she would like to and what would be the best time?

I would not say let go but just continue to be her friend. No need to be confused just be yourself. Unless there is something going on here deeper that you are not sharing with us. Has she acted differently around you in anyway?

Joe

Thanks for replying joe!! :)

Well one can have a lot of special and good friends, but best is best, is 1...

For me a best friend is someone beyond special, someone who you can open your feelings to, someone who you can truly trust... for me a best friend is someone I can rely on, and someone who I spend most of the time with - i.e. for the last part, when both of us are singles obviously :) I treat my best friend differently from other friends...

That is all I can say...

OK, so I'm in the same kind of situation as you. And it's a total drag! Yeah, I always believed that you could have lots of friends, but then have one special friend who's been really close to you and you can share everything with. I'm not saying this is right; its just my opinion

I think what really hurts is the fact that your friend and you have had a really good relationship over the past 2 and a half years and then suddenly, your relationship isn't the same. And it doesn't seem to phase your friend. Its like she's completely forgotten the past few years. While you remember and are hurting over it

Am I making any sense or am I totally off on another tangent? Hope this is helping :)

Many thanks for your opinion caged_birds, you totally know how I was feeling at that time, and how I used to feel like betrayed... But after a lot of thinking some months ago, I have moved on and let her be... I have made another friend who appreciates me more and as for me personally I have took off a load of sadness from my heart, now I am more myself.

How about you? How are you dealing with your problem? It's very hard, but you can't live a lie, can you?

I see you are from Australia, that's nice!! :)

Hope I hear from you, cu!!

I have noticed that many girls do tend to pick best friend and then when they make another best friend they leave the other out in the cold instead of including both friends.
It is high school stuff that some do not outgrow until way later in life.

All you can do is try and talk it over with her how you feel left out. Then if she continues get a life without her.
Also don't be so ready to jump for her when she says jump.

I'm really glad that you're happy now :)

Me? I'm not sure at the moment :confused: my best friend (of ten years) and I had a fight a few months ago and I didn't talk to her for a while. It hurt a lot but I was too stubborn to let it go so easily. So maybe it was my fault that she turned to a different friend instead of me. We recently forgave each other, and now I'm talking and laughing with her

But I don't feel the same connection we had once. It's like I'm not there when this other girl is around, and my friend only talks to me when that other girl isn't there, you know? And I hear her talking with this other girl about where they went together or what they did, and I remember that we used to do that sort of stuff, but not anymore

I want to say something about it to her, but I'm not very good with situations like that. And I'm afraid we'll fight again and lose everything I'm trying to get back. But I also just want to let her go

What hurts the most, like I said before, is that my friend can seemingly disregard the past ten years of our relationship

Hi
I know exactly how you feel my best friend for 3 yrs never does anything with me anymore even though she tells me she still wants to be my best friend someone else has just told me that she is best friends with another girl.
I think that the best soloution is to just talk it over with her and realese all your feelings

From Stephanie

Hope your problem gets solved

Hey I have a best friends named Trinity, and we got a new girl in our class, her name is McKayla, and she is stealing Trinity! I know I need to deal with it with her but during school she is always with McKayla, and during the weekends, I don't get to see her, I have tried to start a conversation, with her but today it went like this: Me: Trinity, what kind of fun dip did you get? Trinity: Oh Red. That was it!she turned back to Mckayla and talked to her. And McKayla is 12 years old and I am only 10 years old. What do I do I need Trinity back!!
Byebye, Unnamed

I'm going through the same situation here, excpet my best friend I knew her since high school grade 9. We've known each other for 5years now, and we are even roommmates for university. But recently, we had a small misunderstanding/fight a month ago. It got cleared within a week, but things don't seem the same anymore. And I feel like we look like we're still close super best friends but we aren't. It's just really weird feeling and now it seems like she has a new best friend. I'm not sure if they are, but they're always together 24/7 for classes, lunch, etc. She only sees me when she's not with her other friend now which is at night in our rooms, and she always makes plans with the other girl instead of me now.. I'm not sure what I should do, cause she was a really special friend and I don't want to lose her. I just feel left out and being replaced, anyone help? :(

Umm.I Have a betsfriend me and her just becamed #1 bff's but her other #1 best friends which is my bestie as well wants to be back her bestie I think''she met another friend and we are meeting less and less as time passes and we aren't that close anymore, because she chose this other friend to be her best friend... YEA SURE IM SAD MAD UPSET ALL OF THE ABOVE... BUT YEA

Hey I see that you guys have bestfriends problems, and all this opinions really helped your problems, so I was hoping if you guys could help me with mine :)

-i have a best friend, and we've been only bestfriends for a year.and she has a godsister and their bond are way stronger than us, but I understand that because she's her godsister.. but every time I see them together I get this feeling saying 'why can't she do that to me too', and every time I see things that she does to her that she doesn't do to me. I get jealous, whyy??
- here's another thing every time she wants me to go hangout with her, all she eveer talk about is her freakin godsister.
-And every time I talk to her she'll tell me to shutup, or "wat do u want from me!", every time I ask her why she does that to me she'll say SARCASM, and I'm going to be like ohh OK we cool then, but as the days goes on she still does that to me, I keep understanding that its sarcasm but sometimes I just couldn't take it any more...

I JUST Don't KNOW WAT DO WITH HER ANYMORE
*should I move on and forget about her?
*should our friendship keeps on?

Hi
I had a similar problem earlier last year. I got really depressed after my nan passed away and instead of being there for me, my best friend of 9 years started hanging out with another girl who was new to our college. I spoke to a few people about it and the best advice I was given was to tell my friend exxactly what I was feeling, but also that I understood that she might want to hang out with other people from time to time, just as I might. I can honestly say that our relationship has gotten a lot stronger since then and we are now a lot more honest with each other, which has made us closer. Good luck! :)