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-   -   Not sure what I should be thinking about/doing in this situaiton. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=632567)

  • Feb 1, 2012, 10:52 PM
    Nex.amare
    Not sure what I should be thinking about/doing in this situaiton.
    My boyfriend will be graduating from university in April. He will be a certified 3rd class power engineer. He has multiple job opportunities that he can take. He applied for company A in November. This job wouldn't require him to move but it's a 6 month grad position with a possibility that it won't be permanent.(Although its looking more and more like it will be) There's also a fly in camp job available on rotating 14 on 7 off shifts 2-4 hours away.

    Now my boyfriend was initially really excited about the job with company A but since he found this other job, he seems to be really thinking hard about what he wants.I honestly don't want to part ways with him but I would see him a max of a week out of every month. I understand that this might be chances of a lifetime, so don't want to hold the guy back. But at the same time I want to be able to continue a fulltime relationship with him. I know that he genuinely cares about what I have to say and he wants to be with me, but I'm wondering if the allure of money is going to be too strong to resist.

    I'm just wondering what your thoughts are on the situation, how I should handle it, if you've ever been in this type of pickle, what you did and how did it work out? Any wisdom that I might be able to pass on to him? A different angle on the whole thing?
  • Feb 2, 2012, 03:37 PM
    talaniman
    Sometime what we want is very different than what we should do. I think you back off from influencing him one way or another and let him make his own decision, then adjust to what he decides.

    I don't think you should stand in the way of what he wants, and if the relationship is strong enough to survive the challenges of life, then it will survive no matter what he choses. Long distance relationships can be stress full, but to deny him a chance at fulfilling his goals just because you want a full time boyfriend is another stress as well.

    Talk to each other, and see what you both are willing to do. One step at a time but make sure you know what he really wants, and he knows what YOU really want.

    How old are you both, and how long have you been together??
  • Feb 22, 2012, 02:38 PM
    IeshaM
    long distance relationships can be hard. I have been with my man for two years and we don't get to see each other as much as we would like. In your situation I would have to ask. Have u ever considered moving with him? Or even moving to a place closer? You always should allow him to go out and do what he wants for his carrer even if it means ul have to be apart for a while. I spent 6 months away from my man so he could go into the marines and it was hard on me but we always kept in touch. This call is of course on u but consider your options that you actually might have with him. If you think he's the one then it will all work out and this is a great test on your relationship. If he goes and it doesn't work out then maybe it just wasn't the right time for you two. I hope this has helped good luck! =D
  • Feb 23, 2012, 12:43 AM
    mmresd
    If this is meant to work, it will work with distance or together. It will be more work with distance, but if both of you believe in it, then everything will be all right in the future. Just keep your communication level up as much as possible. Encourage him to take this great opportunity, if he grows, you both grow, remember that.

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