I need to know what to do or how to save my relationship. =/
My situation is complicated. I just hope someone has the time to sit down read all this and give me a real answer that will help my relationship. Ill tell you our whole relationship story. Its kind of crazy but I really hope someone can help! I was with a guy for 9 months. He put me through a lot (cheated, lied, broke my heart). I went on a vacation to Arizona. I rode a greyhound bus there. It was a 3 day trip on a bus. I met a guy on the bus, and we really hit it off. When I noticed him I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was gorgeous! I got off in Phoenix, he lived an hour away from Phoenix. He gave me his number and said hed show me around Arizona cause I was moving there soon and to call him at 9 that night. I couldn't really get ahold of him at 9 cause I was busy just getting there and settleing in. I texted him around midnight, but he was already asleep and he texted me in the morning. He was so happy to hear from me. I explained to him I had a boyfriend, but we still talked. A few days later my boyfriend at the time became real distant. I talked to him and told him it bothered me. He told me he wanted a break and he still wanted to be friends he just wanted to get his life together and try again after that. We had a lot of problems. We broke up a lot but always ended up back together, but this time I knew it was for real. I soon found out he was with another girl and she's pregnant. He was with her the whole time I was on vacation. The guy I met on the bus and I started talking all day and all night. I left Arizona to come back home. We have been together now for 8 months with him being in Arizona and me being in Missouri. When my mom first found out about him she wanted me to have NOTHING to do with him, and did everything to keep me away from him. When I have my mind set on something nobody can change my mind or take that away from me. About 6 months into our relationship we got in a fight, he called me and left a voicemail on my phone saying "yeah I cheated on you your a bad girlfriend anyways I cheated on you with 2 girls in the same night." That hurt me more than ANYTHING. I had became so close to him within that 6 months and fell so in love with him all over the phone, he had made me feel so amazing and so wanted and so happy! I forgave him, because I know everyone makes mistakes, and I love him. About a month ago he moved here to be with me. I knew then he was the person I wanted to spent the rest of my life with. I really loved him, but I just realized I could be wrong. I know relationships have their ups and downs, but it seems we have more downs than anything now. We fight over every little thing and it turns into a big fight that could go on for days, and sometimes we break up over it. I have lied to him, over 4 months ago. Nothing big. I never cheated on him. I did coke once, and lied to him about it. Always little things. Like who I was hanging out with and stupid things like that. I made a promise to him Id never lie to him again, and I haven't. I brought up something that happened when we first started talking, about him supposivly talking to another girl, but he turned it around on me and said I went 3 hours ignoring him one night I was out partying. I don't remember it but he says I did. This was about a week ago. He broke up with me, and I wouldn't take him back. He cried to me and begged me and I eventually did, but since that day its been nothing but us fighting and aruging. He wants me to move out and go live with him. To be honest I don't want to. He lives 30 minutes away from me. I just started getting my life together, got a job and am back in school. All I know he could be cheating on me. I looked at his phone records today. Im the only person he talks to. So I trust him a little more, but he's a jerk to me. If I do anything wrong he flips out and it goes on forever. But I love him I don't want to let him go. We fight and argue he always throws the past in my face. He says its all me but when we fight and I give up he says he knows its him. He has a lot of trust issues, but I've tried to get him to believe what I tell him and he still don't believe me. Its frusterating especially when Im telling him the truth. What can I do or say to him to make our relationship stronger and have him let go of our past? Ive tried to start over and it don't work. He still brings up our past. I don't know what to do. :(