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-   -   Tools. Got any? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=354991)

  • May 17, 2009, 06:31 PM
    CaptainRich
    Tools. Got any?
    Mechanic's work light:

    Primarily intended to amuse those watching the work rather than actually helping the person that is doing the work.


    Hack Saw:

    One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija Board principle. This saw can transform human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence it's course, the more dismal your future becomes.

    ...
  • May 18, 2009, 05:29 AM
    shazamataz

    So true haha
    The first one is more applicable to me... I usually end up being the 'light holder' lol
  • May 21, 2009, 02:21 AM
    Catsmine
    Socket wrench set:

    1527 different pieces that ALMOST fit the screw head
  • May 22, 2009, 09:45 AM
    CaptainRich

    Skill saw:

    Intended to display lack of skill, designed to cut wall studs too short in one easy motion.
  • May 22, 2009, 10:06 AM
    Catsmine
    Wire Cutters

    Deforms and bends wire perfectly
  • May 23, 2009, 09:27 AM
    KC13
    MIG WELDER: Glorified cigarette lighter. Also useful for transferring rust flakes from automobile underbodies to the eyes, nose, and mouth. HAMMER DRILL w/ MASONRY BIT: Never fails to exceed your expectations, creating an EVEN BIGGER HOLE than you were hoping for. BELT SANDER: Motorized toy car in disguise. Various interchangeable "treads" allow for competition on a wide variety of terrain.
  • May 25, 2009, 12:49 PM
    twinkiedooter

    Cordless Drill - Invented for people who have no need for drilling anything longer than 5 minutes at a time.

    Mini Cordless Drill for screwing in screws - Invented for people who enjoy stripping out their screw heads in one easy motion guaranteed.


    Sawsall - Invented for people who enjoy sawing large holes in their walls and hopefully not hitting a live electrical line inside the wall as they refused to use a stud finder or other nifty device.

    Allen Wrenches - Invented by a very diabolical person to drive unwitting folks nutty trying to find the right size to fit the hole and finding out that the hole is metric when they have regular Allen wrenches or regular when they have metric Allen wrenches.

    SkillSaw -Invented for people who have no skill whatsoever and eventually cut off way too much in a wavy line as the saw is much too heavy to hold properly.

    Electric Lawn Mowers - Invented for people who enjoy running over their expensive electrical cord keeping the extension cord companies in business indefinitely. (my husband effectively ran over 3 expensive cords in one day until I told him I'd finish mowing the lawn after buying yet another cord)
  • May 25, 2009, 12:55 PM
    Catsmine
    Torx head screws: Invented for those mechanical engineers who CAN figure out allen wrenches
  • May 26, 2009, 05:19 PM
    KC13
    Way to go Cap'n, you've started a good one... ;)
  • May 26, 2009, 05:30 PM
    Alty

    I. Have. Nothing. :(

    Wait... nope, nothing. ;)
  • May 26, 2009, 06:32 PM
    Catsmine
    Channel "Johnny Dangerously"

    You've got... those. I like those on a woman.
  • May 26, 2009, 06:40 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Catsmine View Post
    Channel "Johnny Dangerously"

    You've got ... those. I like those on a woman.

    :confused:

    What have I go that you like? Be specific.

    Wait... wrong thread. :(
  • May 26, 2009, 06:43 PM
    Catsmine
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Altenweg View Post
    :confused: Be specific. :(

    Which one's volume and which one's tuning?
  • May 26, 2009, 06:44 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Catsmine View Post
    Which one's volume and which one's tuning?

    That's for me to know and you to figure out. ;)
  • May 26, 2009, 06:56 PM
    Catsmine
    Wait... wrong thread ;)
  • May 26, 2009, 06:57 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Catsmine View Post
    Wait ... wrong thread ;)

    That's my line! :eek:
  • May 26, 2009, 07:07 PM
    Catsmine
    Wait... I just looked at the title of this thread again. Maybe it isn't wrong
  • May 26, 2009, 07:11 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Catsmine View Post
    Wait... I just looked at the title of this thread again. Maybe it isn't wrong

    True. Okay.

    Wrong forum! :eek:
  • May 26, 2009, 07:14 PM
    Catsmine
    Vibrating relaxer: Ratchets tension up unbearably
  • May 30, 2009, 05:36 PM
    shazamataz

    You two are nuts :p

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